Have you ever spoken anything incorrectly or rudely and ended up in an unpleasant situation? We frequently find ourselves saying things that we afterwards regret. Our tongues produce words more quickly than we expect. Once released, they cannot be recovered, and the damage is irreparable.
The human mind is extremely intricate. We could frequently have quite unfavorable thoughts concerning someone. Someone may not value our judgment very highly. But it’s preferable to keep such words and ideas to ourselves. Today, conflict would be raging over the entire planet if we kept saying anything came to mind. To avoid offending the other person, to keep friendly connections, to prevent enmity, and to maintain your own mental calm, it is crucial to consider before you speak.
Speaking without thinking can have a variety of effects. It can occasionally be so bad that you risk permanently losing a career or a relationship. The time it takes to ponder before speaking is scarcely any. Thinking strategically and organizing your speech is a learned talent. To master it, you need to practice. However, after you’ve done it, you won’t have to second-guess what you said. We’ll talk about good communication techniques in this article so you can consider before you speak.
What Happens When You Speak Before You Think?
Speaking without thinking may have serious consequences in both your personal and professional relationships. You can wind up telling someone a secret you weren’t intended to. By complaining about someone, you can end up losing your opportunity at an excellent employment offer. Or you risk offending someone’s feelings.
Personal Relationships
Even if you don’t want to, thinking before you speak does not necessarily entail being diplomatic or courteous to the other person. In certain situations, certain things must be stated.
However, there are times when there is a better method to deliver a sentence than to just blurt it out as it comes to you. For instance, if your wife asks you if a certain dress makes her seem overweight, you might stop for a while and suggest that perhaps the other one will look better for the occasion rather than telling her outright that it does. You can avoid an argument and your wife pouting if you take a moment to consider your position before expressing it.
Another illustration is a little different but one that occurs to us frequently. Instead of telling a friend you’re seeing her because you find her to be really dull, you may take a minute to think it through and offer her a plausible explanation without making her feel guilty.
Professional Relationships
Thinking before you say is as crucial in professional interactions. If your supervisor, for instance, asks you why you left your previous job, your mind may immediately begin to consider all the wrongs you may have done to your ex-boss. But if you say them out loud, you’ll not only jeopardize your current position but also lose your boss’s respect. You must pause, consider, and concoct a plausible justification.
It is acceptable to talk falsely in such situations. You might only claim that you desired a raise or greater growth opportunities. Another illustration might be that you should use caution when conversing with your coworkers.
It is important to consider how much to expose and how much to talk. Anything that merely comes to mind cannot be spoken. Although you could believe that you have greater potential than your coworker, take a moment to reflect before speaking. Speaking your thoughts in work settings may sometimes get you into trouble!
How to Think Before You Speak?
Here are some suggestions to help you stop speaking before you think if you have a tendency of speaking before you think:
1. Pause and Think
It’s not required that you respond right away when someone asks you a question or expresses an opinion on anything. You can take a brief break to consider your response. You could believe that pausing to glance at the other person will appear uncomfortable. However, this respite is brief. The other party won’t even be aware. You can consider both the implications of your intended response and the answer itself.
2. Analyze and Filter
If your response gives away too much or comes out as nasty, it is not suitable. You must pause, reflect, then evaluate and filter. Your mind will begin working swiftly to generate an alternative response the instant you determine that the response you were about to offer is incorrect.
3. Pause and Question to Clarify
You frequently speak without pausing to consider or fully comprehend the question. When you don’t fully comprehend the question, you end up responding incorrectly. It is usually preferable to pause and mentally restate the question before responding appropriately. Once you begin putting these suggestions into practice, it won’t take you long to analyze, filter, or ponder. The other person won’t even be aware that you are thinking so much before speaking since your mind will begin to function more quickly.
4. Pause with Expressions Like ‘A’, ‘em’, ‘well’
You can use words like “a,” “em,” or “well,” or you can take a break to sip some water, if you need to halt without making it clear that you’re doing so. You’ll have plenty of time to reflect during this pause.
5. Plan Your Speech
You can prepare your speech during your thinking breaks. To hear how two potential responses sound, you can mentally frame them.
There are methods to say any unfavorable thing so that the other person won’t take offense. You might wait if your buddy asks to borrow money from you and you are certain you do not want to do so. She might be asked to repeat anything as though you weren’t listening the first time. During this period, you might consider how to gently decline an offer. Alternately, you might state that you will be unable to assist because of an unforeseen expenditure this month. I wish I could assist, but I also need a little more money this month to go to my mom, you might say.
You often add words like “I wish I could” or “I would love to, but” when you pause to consider. These words help you avoid seeming impolite.
6. Speak Only if Your Comment is Necessary or Helpful
Simply smiling, shrugging, or nodding is a crucial communication tactic while trying to get out of trouble. You avoid saying anything that may be misinterpreted or used against you in this way. These are also powerful ways to stop a discussion or let someone know that you don’t want to talk.
7. Be a Good Listener Too
Being an effective listener is another crucial component of communication. If you do not adequately listen before you speak, you can wind yourself saying something completely unrelated. You need to put your phone or TV away if you want to listen well.
A Takeaway
It’s crucial to consider your words before speaking. Just two or three seconds should be allotted for thought. You’ll be astounded at how well your mind can structure your ideas and formulate speeches. This pause will allow your mind some space to organize your words so that you can make your argument clearly. Keep in mind to hold off on saying the first thing that comes to mind. If there is another way to put things, pause to consider it. Your audience also learns from your little pauses that you take great care to utter the appropriate words at the appropriate time.
Silence is often golden. Think about not responding or interacting at all. It is sometimes preferable to be silent when you are unsure of what to say. Not all questions must be resolved. Without insulting the other person, you can take a break. You have every right to pick and choose your words carefully.
Additionally, constantly be aware of your whereabouts. While using swear words around friends could be acceptable, it is never appropriate to do so in front of strangers, young children, or the general public. You must be able to tell them apart. It’s crucial to consider where to talk and when to speak.
Despite these safeguards, it is still fairly common to say something you shouldn’t have spoken. The easiest method to address such blunders is to apologize soon. Tell the truth if you said something you shouldn’t have. Say “I’m sorry” and acknowledge this is your fault. You won’t put yourself in danger if you do this!
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