Many of us seem to feel easily frightened when we see others succeeding in a certain area of life. It’s difficult for us to feel glad for them; instead, we experience feelings of jealously and jealousy.
We unintentionally compare our own lives to how we perceive the lives of others today. The rise of social media and our sugar-coated image of other people’s activity through their photos and updates have only served to exacerbate this in many ways.
But what actually occurs when we go through it? How do we react when we observe what others are doing and are overcome by a strong urge to follow suit?
What if feeling envious was beneficial to you? If you employ it correctly, it might be.
Don’t Confuse Envy With Jealousy
Jealousy is not envy. The first step to overcoming such emotions and developing a stronger sense of self is realizing the distinction between jealously and envy.
Wanting what another person specifically has is called jealousy.
Like seeking a specific person’s girlfriend/boyfriend or job. In some circumstances, the only way to gain what you desire is to harm, betray, or even kill the person who possesses it in order to own exactly what he possesses.
But envy is the desire for everything that someone else has. If you like a successful author, it doesn’t mean you have to put them to death in order to succeed as a writer. Work on your writing, and eventually you’ll be able to compete with them. You two are both capable of writing well.
Envy arises from the belief that someone else has something that you want or desire, such as money, success, a wonderful relationship, or social influence. You want something that you think another person has, which is comparable to jealousy.
The distinction is that envy happens when you merely want something that someone else has, and jealousy is based on a view of your possible loss to a rival, someone, from the dread of having something taken away from you.
Always damaging, jealousy. However, when utilized properly, envy can be advantageous.
How To Use Envy To Your Advantage
1. Make enviousness an inspiration.
We all put off the tasks that need to be completed. Even the things we wish to do get postponed. We ourselves are unable to fully comprehend why. Let’s face it, humans are occasionally sluggish and easily sidetracked.
Think about it: you might not feel the desire to develop and progress if you had never experienced jealousy. Accept that envy has advantages instead. You might become a better version of yourself with its assistance.
These feelings can be used to try to awaken to, or create, a larger you by keeping you on your toes. If you want to improve your skills at work to outperform your coworkers for the upcoming promotions, make sure you take the necessary steps to do so. Alternatively, acknowledge that you already have a lot to give and start utilizing it. The world values you when you value yourself.
2. Pay attention to envy, it will help you achieve your goals.
You can hear it pointing you in the direction you might secretly wish to investigate. A desire pulls you in the direction of something. What makes you want it? If you had it, what would you do?
It’s crucial to pay attention to what envy is trying to tell you even though it’s not something to encourage or aim for.
After processing jealousy, we frequently have the ability to dismiss it as superficial and unimportant. However, there are other times when we experience a sense of calling from within—a voice urging us to pursue something with which we truly identify and which will help us get closer to living a more honest version of who we are (hobbies, jobs, careers, people, worldviews, lifestyles etc).
3. Boost your own abilities.
You can use envy as a technique to help you become aware of the qualities you are presently denying you possess. You will negotiate away many of your biggest life possibilities as long as you live in the background and play small in relation to others.
The constraints of playing small, however, can be overcome and envy can be used to your greatest advantage once it drives you to ponder and empower yourself, once you start to stand on the shoulders of giants and realize that all you see in others, you have to the same degree. There is nothing lacking in you.
Envy reveals the areas of your life where you are the underdog in comparison to others and gives you the chance to take control of such situations.
4. YOU are the focus, not THEM.
What do you truly feel when you’re looking at pictures on social media and have an envious thought?
You are being spoken to about your own life, not someone else’s. If you’re urging yourself to make a call, invite someone out to dinner, or spend time with others because you wish you were in the photos from the social event.
Do you genuinely envy your friend when you see their travel images, or are you just rationalizing to yourself that it could be wonderful to go on a brief vacation of your own? What does your envy indicate about YOUR decision-making?
5. Comparing is common.
Instead of continuously comparing yourself to others, it is actually beneficial to compare your everyday actions to your own unique prioritised goals and intentions once you become self-aware.
Others are not like you and hold different values. You won’t make the best partner. You will only ever be your best self. There is no illusion you can ever impose on yourself that can compare to the magnificence of who you genuinely are.
It is better to hold individuals in your heart rather than on pedestals or in pits. Realize that you already own all you foolishly admire about them. You are still too modest to acknowledge that you only find things in others that you already find admirable.
4. Now set off on your own journey.
Envy occurs. Life entails it. Do you listen to it and try to grasp what it’s saying, or do you let it control your behavior mindlessly?
Always make the most of the times when the deep, inner voice rises to the surface to speak with you. Listen.
When you are drifting and feel off-course in life, it can help you get back on track. You wish you had someone else’s insight, don’t you? The success of their current route is the main concern? It’s time to make that adjustment; pay attention to what your life is trying to tell you about what you should do. Start your own journey right now.
5. Be mindful!
Envy is a narrative we make ourselves about another person’s life. It is untrue. This is perception. Never forget that what we think about other people’s lives is rarely the case.
Be cautious when you envy features of someone else’s life or lifestyle. For instance, envy can make us think that achieving their level of success will make us happy. Or that the secret to contentment lies in doing what they do and knowing who they know.
This is the constant falsehood of jealousy, which explains why it may poison our lives.
We must recognize the difference: Envy can guide us toward our true selves, but it can also steer us away from our full potential.
The quiet voice inside each of us might offer hints as to the truth of our deeper desires; it is not your goal or your motivation. Do not linger there. Move forward with an abundance mindset after accepting it and comprehending it.
Spend Time With People You Envy
Since most individuals like to avoid suffering, most of us avoid being around those we are envious of because envy is an unpleasant feeling. However, we ought to go in the other direction.
We should make an effort to interact with folks we envy. Why?
1. They provide lessons for us.
Getting to know someone well is the key to learning from them. Analyze their actions. Examine what is and is not working.
You may achieve the same level of success as them—or even greater—if you take what you can from what they are doing and apply it to your own life.
2. We can love them.
Learn to love the person you are envious of if you don’t want to experience the discomfort of envy. You don’t envy someone as much the more you adore them.
No matter how hard we try, all envy contains a trace amount of jealousy.
In other words, a part of you dislikes the person you are envious of. The discomfort stems from this. It never feels good to have bad feelings for someone else.
However, there is no longer any room for even a tiny bit of dislike when you love someone.
Envy Can Be Good For You
But only if you apply it, take something away from it, and let it go. Utilizing it intelligently is the key.
Envy is comparable to the opium poplar. It will harm you if you engage in it for enjoyment or as an act of resistance. However, if you use it sparingly and only in certain circumstances, it may be beneficial (just as opium can be used to relieve legitimate and excessive pain).
You may define your path and inspire yourself to keep working, accomplishing, and succeeding if you utilize envy appropriately. Then, when envy is no longer beneficial, replace it with love.