You must have been there before. The problem with narcissists is that they have “lucky charms” who work for them and carry their dirty laundry while making sure no one sees that the king is naked. You have learnt everything there is to know about narcissists, and you are aware of who they are. It is thus extremely difficult to live in a world that seems to have been designed to produce and benefit these cheats and manipulators.
These chameleons proudly show off all of their several faces to people, and each one is trickier than the last. They are likable by everybody and can converse and interact with any social group. But there’s a catch: they often have one target in mind, and that target is someone who possesses compassion, integrity, and empathy. Why? Anyone who is superior to the narcissist is viewed as a threat that has to be removed since they are the object of their envy. The narcissist believes they need to quickly extinguish their glow.
Unfortunately, the target will become aware of the narcissist’s actual nature and will be able to see through their façade, but they will be too close to them to take any action. Abuse of this nature occurs in many kinds of relationships, including ones that are romantic, familial, and professional. It occurs in every circumstance when a narcissist has the power to mistreat and control another person.
Why then is the narcissist still accepted as a decent person despite all of their manipulation?
The narcissists are particularly good at controlling how other people perceive them. When they are with their “victims” in public, they might laud them, but when they are alone, they can belittle and criticize them. The narcissist has the power to incite others’ emotional responses, making them appear unstable. Making their victims appear as though they are the abusers rather than the victims is how narcissists secretly abuse their victims.
The narcissist quickly classifies anybody they come into touch with as someone who might be beneficial to them and a danger, or if not, they don’t bother with them. The narcissist will first laud and admire those who are perceived as a danger, whether it is due to their education, abilities, success, competence, or other attributes that are significant to the narcissist, before completely devaluing and discarding them.
For the purpose of staging their victim’s demise, the narcissist will construct a powerful pedestal for them. The narcissist would first idealize their victim, but subsequently keep them on edge by not telling them where they stand in their lives. The narcissist strikes the victim’s heart with sorrow and uncertainty in this way. The selected victim will therefore be glorified and devalued at the same time, along with the other narcissist victims, until they are removed from their pedestal for calling the narcissist out on their bs.
The only winners in the narcissist’s maze of mind tricks, deception, and falsehoods are the narcissist and any victims who are able to escape and go on with their lives.
Additionally, narcissists have a quality that makes people trust them. There is something about them that draws others in, whether it is their attractive look, their charm, their intelligence, or something else. The propensity for individuals to take one positive quality (for example, “They are so charming”) and then extrapolate it to the rest of their personality (They must also be brilliant and kind!) is known in psychology as the “halo effect.”
Additionally, the narcissist presents a highly appealing but deceptive picture of themselves to others, giving the impression that they are incredibly compassionate, warm, and kind. They entice people in with their phony honesty and pretended reliability. They meticulously pick their victims, making sure they are either unwilling to pay attention to all the warning signs or have not yet realized who they really are.
The narcissist, however, will defend themselves by stating the victims are the issue because they wish to cause difficulties for no apparent reason if they believe they are in danger of being revealed.
And the reason we are ill-equipped to cope with these manipulators is because when someone mistreats or abuses us, we have a tendency to project our own morals and sense of empathy onto them, leading us to believe that they are actually decent people on the inside.
It is crucial that we speak up and support our inner voices because of this. If you are a survivor as well, then we should all speak out against these abusers and promote awareness. It’s how revolutions get started. We can put an end to this lunacy because we are all in this together.