What should I do if I have a crush on a married man? You would not be asking this if you didn’t realize that this crush is inappropriate.
Being in love with someone is very natural. After all, establishing a family involves developing romantic interests in other people. It becomes a little more challenging, though, if you wind yourself crushing on a married man.
You probably believe that maintaining good relations with a married man while maintaining your personal space is harmless. What transpires, though, if you’re unable to restrain your emotions? What if a casual crush developed into something more, something that may perhaps lead to the dissolution of a marriage?
WHAT IS A CRUSH?
An uncontrolled urge to be with someone you find physically or emotionally alluring is known as a crush. Since practically everyone has had a crush on someone, it would be a sad life indeed if you never came across someone you thought was exceptionally lovely and very unique.
Crushes don’t frequently result in romantic relationships, despite the fact that it is a typical initial step. Crushes are particularly infamous for being fleeting and are frequently directed at persons who are out of reach, like celebrities. Particularly among young individuals who are still learning about romantic relationships, this is widespread. Although their crush is extremely real and very powerful, it will ultimately fade and materialize if it is not reciprocated.
CRUSHES ARE NORMAL
Whether someone is accessible or not, having a crush on them is very acceptable. It’s natural to playfully flirt and play games during fundamental human interactions, and it feels fantastic to have these qualities. Our brains experience a physical and physiological reaction that makes us joyful.
You can receive unfavorable feedback if you seek guidance on a subject like this sometimes. Anyone who is in or has been in a relationship will view you as a danger. Almost everyone will choose the right thing to do, regardless of the situation. Nevertheless, despite what others may say, you are not a nasty person.
You can’t genuinely deny having a crush; you simply have to wait it out when it happens. You can’t help but like people. But whether or not you are a decent person will depend on how you respond to your feelings, which is something you can control.
WHAT TO DO ABOUT YOUR CRUSH ON A MARRIED MAN?
The majority of individuals are aware that they are on a downward slope, despite the fact that almost all cheaters will say the affair “simply happened.” Some of them just choose to pick up a sled. Others, however, decide to take a step back after realizing that their friendship with a married person may not have been as sincere as they had thought.
But once a crush develops, losing control becomes simpler. Despite your best efforts, you occasionally nevertheless fall in love with someone you shouldn’t. Here is what to do in the situation.
1. Think first
This man is married. Consider how you would feel if your spouse was the object of a crush and you were married.
Don’t be that girl who disregards her connections with others or her own self-respect. You’ll harm others in addition to yourself. There are countless single men, and if one of them started showing interest in you while having an affair with his wife, what sort of catch would he be? What type of person do you become when you allow yourself to be duped by falsehoods and misinformation?
2. Kill any hope
Your crush leaving their marriage to ride off into the sunset with you in your dreams is like a cockroach. Once you start thinking about them, it’s quite difficult to stop, and even a modest fantasy may quickly turn into an unending string of more unlikely what-ifs.
Additionally, such dreams are about as beneficial to your mental well-being as a cockroach infestation is to your physical wellbeing. Accept that your sweetheart is already dating someone.
He is unable to date you, and if he has any integrity at all, he will not date you. Even if he has mentioned leaving his partner, either directly for you or just generally, you won’t find happiness as long as he is still sporting someone else’s engagement ring.
If you two are intended to be together in any way, he will locate you once he has finalized his divorce and moved on from his ex. But don’t hang around expecting it will happen. Remove all possibility of a connection with this individual and find someone who can truly love you.
3. Beware of your fantasies
Fantasy may appear innocuous, but if you return to it again, it may become strong and seductive.
Fantasy does not equal reality. It’s a vacation from reality if you imagine your crush sweeping you off your feet and into a bed of roses. Real life can never equal your fondest fantasies of what you and your crush may experience together.
Most women would probably respond, “Never!” if you asked them whether they’d sex with a married man. However, affairs continue to occur often. Women probably believed they would never fall into bed with a married man, so how do they wind up doing it? Fantasy has a lot of power, and it might start to excuse people’s behavior.
Make a personal rule not to daydream about your married crush in an effort to manage your fantasy life. You can manage your attraction and lower your risk of acting on your feelings only by doing this.
4. Try to switch to something/someone else
Why not try putting that time and energy toward a different hobby if you are spending so much time and effort thinking about someone you can’t be with? This may entail taking up a brand-new pastime, beginning a brand-new workout regimen, making new acquaintances, or even going out with the goal of meeting someone new.
People around you will see you beaming from the inside out while you’re experiencing the exhilaration of having a crush, which makes you look your most gorgeous. Look around to see if anyone else is around and available.
Can you spice up your relationship if you’re already in one with someone? Crushes are all about imagining an ideal world; you must return to the present and begin considering how to make your current environment more perfect.
5. Avoid alone time
It’s never simply a brief run to drop off something at his place or just one drink during happy hour.
You should avoid being alone with a married person when you are crushing on them, whether you started dating him or not before finding out he was married.
When you feel as though you are having a private meeting with your crush, it is far too simple to get arrogant, excessively familiar, or to make a choice you’ll later regret.
Though it may appear romantic, sneaking around is really just evidence that you two are engaging in dishonorable behavior. When you are getting over your crush, stay away from temptation, and make sure you always have at least one other person in the room with you.
6. Turn to a friend you trust
You need to sometimes pull out the heavy weapons. Talk to a buddy about what is happening in that situation so they can assist you keep on the straight and narrow.
Your pal can give you a strong wake-up call when you start daydreaming about the fairy tale where you and your crush slip off to some happily ever after. Your friend might remind you of all the character defects that are certain to be present in any cheater if you start grumbling about how flawless your crush is. They can support you and guarantee that you never have to be by yourself with your crush.
7. Look for his flaws
When you have feelings for a married individual, it is not always possible to wait for those feelings to pass, as you could if you were crushing on a single person. It can be necessary to aggressively suppress those emotions.
List the shortcomings of his character out loud. Make a list of the qualities you like and don’t want in a lover as well. Clearly, traits like being married or already taken, a liar, disrespectful of women, emotionally unavailable, and cheater should be on your “what I don’t want” list.
Think about it, for instance, if you adore animals and he makes unkind remarks about them. Remind yourself that you don’t find his hands attractive if they are unattractive. And probably most crucially, remember that if he says or does something illogical, sexist, or otherwise bigoted. Someone who is not kind, courteous, or tolerant is not someone you want to be around.
Do not act as though he is faultless either. Concentrate on all of his shortcomings. He’s not perfect, and acknowledging that may help you view him as a flawed individual rather than as the beautiful crush you think he is.
8. Work on your self-esteem
It’s dreadful to have a crush on a married individual. But it doesn’t make you a bad person to have unintentionally grown a crush on someone. Although it will make things uncomfortable for you initially, it does not represent who you are as a person. You will be OK as long as you refrain from acting on such ideas and make an effort to get rid of them. You haven’t gone too far.
Read some books about loving yourself, having good relationships, and self-worth. Because we don’t have enough confidence in ourselves, we occasionally turn to males to affirm us. It doesn’t have to be that way, though.
Remind yourself that you deserve a partner who will commit their life to you. Take a vacation, give yourself a makeover, learn something new, or engage in an exciting new activity. You are a stunning lady. Live your greatest life right now!
9. Think of others involved
Can you live with the fact that you are to blame for a partner’s infidelity? What could it be like for kids to grow up without a father because their dad struck up a friendship with a lady who had a “simple” love on him?
Even if you think it’s simply a simple, harmless affair, some women eventually wind up seeking a committed partnership. It’s not truly risk-free, though; somebody will get wounded at some point.
Consider his wife. She is a genuine individual with aspirations, fears, dreams, and emotions. It’s really difficult to believe she exists even when you know she does if you’ve never met her. Remembering that he goes home to her could make it seem less painful, but it will really help you get past your crush if you consider how your actions might impact her.
Keep in mind that he is married and has kids, and that following your desires would be extremely harmful to many people, including yourself (and him too).
TIPS TO MANAGE YOUR FLIRTING
Similar to how “harmless” flirtation, if left uncontrolled, may develop into emotional closeness. In turn, emotional closeness might serve as the catalyst for a sexual liaison. Here are some ground rules to help you control your flirting even if you like joking about with your married crush:
Keep your distance.
Keep your distance from him when you are in his presence, even if it might be challenging to do so.
Try to maintain a respectable distance from him while yet being at a comfortable distance.
Try to avoid disclosing too much about your private life to him and keep your interactions polite and brief.
Avoid texting and calling.
Refrain from answering personal emails, messages, or calls from him.
Keep your response concise and impersonal if you must respond for business or another serious topic. Although it could be challenging, it’s crucial that you forbid any form of intimate or private conduct.
Try not to answer his messages or calls immediately away.
Mention his wife as you talk with one another.
Do not just deny that she exists. He will be reminded of his obligation if you bring her up in conversation.
Don’t touch as you speak.
When you delicately brush his arm or grace his foot with yours, flirting is amplified. Don’t do it at all.
Don’t suddenly avoid.
It’s more likely that quickly ending the friendship would result in an obsession with him. Don’t completely end things, especially if you see him every day at work. Just make a concerted effort to restrain your flirtation and fantasies in order to diminish the warmth of the connection.
THE BOTTOM LINE
He is no longer available if he wears a ring. Although your heart often finds it difficult to let go of what it desires, your heart is aware of this. Sad but true, although some women may be able to resist the urge, others may find it more challenging to stay away from the married man.
Before you do anything about your sentiments, give it some serious thought. You must decide if you want to continue having a platonic connection with a married man.
Keep in mind that more than just your life is at risk. If you decide to pursue a man who has already exchanged wedding vows with another woman, you might potentially cause yourself a lot of harm. You’ll do better to locate someone without much baggage.
But forcing yourself to move on is the finest thing you can do. No matter how much you may believe that married person is the one, the ring on his finger is a neon message from God telling you that you are mistaken. There is someone out there who is suited for you. Pay attention to the warning and move on. Long-term, you’ll be lot happy.
