Saying farewell to those you can’t let go of is the most difficult thing you should do at some time in your life. Letting go of someone may be really painful, especially if you’ve spent years putting time and effort into the connection. If you made a lot of efforts to maintain the good connections you formed and they once functioned but no longer do, it will hurt more.
Even when you attempt to reflect on the memories you have and the goals you have for the future, it is impossible to let go of the past. But now that everything has long ago vanished, the only thing left to do is to say goodbye, as this is the most straightforward option available.
You could find yourself obsessively contemplating what might have been, what ought to have been done, and what-ifs at this stage. You’ll start to consider what may happen if you did this or that. What if you hadn’t started this specific debate? What if you had chosen not to say this?
However, even if you discover the answers to these queries, it would still appear that your efforts to identify the cause for your need to sever relations were in vain. Perhaps your relationship never truly worked out due of the differences that ultimately kept you apart, or perhaps there was a deeper reason why that occurred. Even if there are numerous reasons why it must stop, letting go of someone is unquestionably the most compassionate course of action.
When you let go of someone you love, you also let go of the memories you have created with them. However, the first step to practicing self-care is witnessing them leave you when you are unable to let go. This will also mark the beginning of you lowering your standards so you can simply be with them without preoccupation.
We are aware that consciously letting go of things that hold you back might be difficult. However, blaming other people or yourself for how it ended will not assist you either. Even though you have a difficult time letting go of individuals, this is about accepting responsibility. But you also shouldn’t ignore what happened. Even if it hurt your feelings, you shouldn’t harbor resentment when you attempt to go back to that period of your life in the future.
You should heed the following guidance and some self-care suggestions in order to fully embrace oneself.
1. Willfully Let Go
Finding your readiness to let go is the only thing you can do when you think you can’t do it. You must first embrace who you truly are at this moment and the fact that the loss is not your fault in order to go on. By that time, you’ll have come to the conclusion that certain things won’t actually happen as planned, and that’s alright.
After all, you continue to have several relationships that might improve your mood over time. All you have to do is express gratitude to those who have stayed and those who have left for their support.
Another reason you could have lost your will is that, after letting go of the past, you might have been overly depressed and limited your skills. You must keep in mind that you merely lost a person; losing yourself would be an additional issue. You know, giving up someone you loved shouldn’t also mean giving up your aspirations.
You just need to let your thoughts wander while it’s still hurting you inside. You should be responsible enough to stand up for yourself in this difficult moment since there is nothing wrong with doing so. You should consider yourself and refuse to listen to what other people say about you and your circumstances because, after all, only you know how much it pained you to let go of the past and let go of certain individuals.
Additionally, if you are having trouble with your own thinking, it will be difficult for you to find the strength to let go of someone you loved. You might ask for assistance this time so that you can eventually understand that you should accept the things you initially believed you couldn’t let go of. The best choice you can make right now will protect the lights in your future from going out.
2. Express Your Pain
Naturally, it will pain you more if you keep such things to yourself after deciding that letting go of individuals will be the wisest course of action. It is common to have these emotions after letting go of someone. But if you can’t let go of your emotional sentiments and allow them consume you, you won’t be able to control them.
There will be days when you struggle internally, but you shouldn’t deny it to show others that you are still optimistic about life even after letting go of the past and letting go of individuals. Instead of displaying any form of bravery, you are only making yourself suffer more when you ought to have quit doing it in the first place.
After losing someone you loved, it’s critical to be able to communicate your sadness. Negative emotions like fear, grief, and anger are a normal part of life, but sometimes we don’t know how to handle them well, according to Mental Health America. It might be tempting to act on your emotions right away, yet this frequently doesn’t improve the circumstance that gave rise to the feelings. In fact, it could cause more issues in the future that need to be resolved.
It simply means that when you find it difficult to let go of those feelings, you are putting your physical health at danger owing to the stress that comes with letting go of the past. You should constantly approach the things that upset you with the mindset that you can no longer change the uncomfortable circumstance.
The majority of the time, speaking it aloud helps to ease the load you are carrying. If you worry that you could come across as too dramatic when you eventually let it all out, you do not need to have someone by you.
When you feel like you’ve already lost everything after letting go of the past, though, you may always choose to call someone and ask for some guidance if you want to stay calm. They will undoubtedly comprehend if you explain to them that you are going through a difficult period and that you can’t let go of things easily.
If expressing your emotions aloud is still ineffective for you, then go get a notebook and start writing. You’ll discover how much writing can soothe the suffering and at least make things bearable, even when you feel like you’re ready to collapse.
Whatever method you use, as long as you communicate your suffering, you can overcome it.
3. Do Not Blame Others For The Lost
Not only are you letting go of the individuals, but you are also letting go of the guilt that you previously struggled to do so. By removing yourself from negative thoughts and allowing yourself to feel joy again, you may let go of the blame and understand that life is still lovely even if you had to let go of someone you loved.
Why do you continue to hold others accountable for a relationship that did not turn out the way you had hoped?
You are refusing to give yourself the authority to transform those circumstances into beneficial and healthy learning while blaming other people. By focusing on inconsequential and needless things, you are even avoiding the underlying problems if you are also blaming others for your loss.
No one can make you feel inadequate without your cooperation, as Eleanor Roosevelt so eloquently put it. Therefore, you should start releasing your own guilt and stop blaming others for the emotions you are now experiencing.
In order to quit blaming others, you need also consider what you should do differently the next time to avoid letting them down again. In order to have a better future after letting go of the past, one should stay in the future and deal with the present.
4. Forgive Them and Yourself
The next step after letting go of someone you love is to forgive both yourself and that person. If you try to beat yourself up again, you will undoubtedly run out of energy and be unable to get back up. You have already experienced the worst.
You won’t be happy if you keep your resentment at your loved one within. So keep in mind that forgiving someone after letting go of them will undoubtedly transform your life. However, forgiving someone does not imply that you are getting ready to forget about them. Simply said, you are letting go of the past to make it simpler for you to go ahead and, without them, find a better place in the future.
There is always an option. You have power over your thoughts and feelings, therefore you can surely prevent yourself from going back to the moments you find difficult to let go. All you have to do is use it and acknowledge that at some time in your life, you had to let go of someone in order to make room for someone better, someone who wouldn’t abandon you once more.
Understanding yourself and the individual who just departed is a step toward forgiving yourself. You two may have had distinct aspirations, which required you to pursue them in different ways. It is your obligation to resist feeling sorry for yourself as a result of what occurred. Instead, instruct yourself to view it as a lesson so that you may concentrate on rediscovering joy and regaining yourself before evolving into a better person.
5. Embrace The Present
The fact is that you cannot go ahead till you let go, until you forgive yourself, until you forgive the circumstance, until you recognize that the scenario is finished, according to Steve Maraboli in his book “Unapologetically You: Reflections on Life and The Human Experience.”
Learning to live in the present is the last stage in letting go of the past and letting go of people, and in order to accomplish so, you must deal with neglect, which is a crucial factor in the inability to let go of someone. The past shouldn’t be given any more gasoline since doing so would only cause your present and future to burn down. If that occurs, all you would be doing is trading your purported enjoyment for something already lost.
By going on a hike, taking a trip with your friends, reading a book, treating yourself to your preferred coffee shop, or getting a complete makeover, take your time to love the moment. By engaging in these activities, you can stop your mind from wandering back in time and thinking about the past, which is why it’s important to remind yourself of the present.
No one wants you to go back to square one after letting go of someone you loved; retracing the steps you have successfully completed would only bring those heartbreaks to the surface once again. Simply keep practicing daily modest steps until you lose awareness of how boldly and smoothly you are already going forward.