“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.”
Although this passage directly from the Gospels is perhaps the most well-known phrase on love, most of us struggle to put this type of love into reality.
Most of the time, our ideas about love are filled with overly romanticized images of ideal dates, beautiful evenings, and meeting a life mate who always completely gets us. When we think of love, we see an endless wave of emotions. We picture meeting THE ONE, the perfect match who fulfills all of our needs and complements us in every way.
That vision is wrong, which is its lone flaw. Our romanticized notions of love invariably leave us with false expectations for any potential relationship, even if they are the actual deal.
17 Truths About Love
Here are 17 truths about love that we tend to forget in our fantasies of the ideal union.
1. The romance will end.
Over time, passion and romance will wane, but the trick is to keep them alive as long as possible. Your boyfriend won’t take you out on dates every weekend, and you won’t always be preparing surprises for him. We need to find a middle ground here to maintain the relationship.
2. Love is a decision.
We frequently overlook the fact that choosing to love someone and feeling love for them are both decisions we make. It differs from lustful impulses, which are frequently strong, fleeting, and uncontrollable. We decide to be loving. No matter how hard they may try, no one else can make you fall in love with him or her.
3. We often choose partners who we believe to be similar to us.
And shortly after we learn that they are different, we enter a power struggle dynamic. Then we attempt to transform our lover into the person we believe they should be. That is the root of a staggering number of interpersonal conflicts I observe.
4. Other people cannot be changed by anyone.
Although conformity and agreement might be attained, they won’t persist. An effort that is significantly more worthwhile is learning the art of acceptance.
Learn to accept your spouse in order to be truly patient (with yourself). Sometimes all it takes to get somebody to change is for you to take a new step rather than waiting for them to.
5. Love is not a passing fancy.
We confuse infatuation with love much too frequently. A wave of emotions known as infatuation often veers toward obsession. Love is not a compulsive emotion. It doesn’t cause people to feel jealous of one another. Love is a feeling that endures. Unlike infatuation. Infatuation fades away after the initial rush of strong emotions, but love endures until another potential mate is found.
6. Love is a process.
I personally don’t think that “love at first sight” exists. True love grows with time. Love calls for trust and a thorough understanding of the other person, including their personality, pursuits, worldview, actions, and firmly held basic values. Physical attraction alone might cause you to feel infatuation and passion for someone.
But you can’t begin to genuinely know, appreciate, and trust that individual right away. It takes a lot longer for love, admiration, and respect to form and mature. Real love grows stronger over time as you develop trust. With your partner, you feel both physically and emotionally comfortable.
7. Love demands patience.
Love needs patience, as does time. Without learning to be patient with ourselves, the other person, and the things that take time to develop, we cannot truly love another person. In this day of quick pleasure, patience is a virtue that is all too scarce. We anticipate same-day deliveries, overnight blossoming of romances into soul mate unions, and instantaneous outcomes.
We wait patiently for things to happen organically rather than rushing, demanding, or pushing the pace. Allowing the universe to handle things as they are supposed to be handled is a necessary component of patience. Being patient means not pushing yourself too hard or making things happen. Trust that everything will turn out if it is meant to be.
8. It needs effort.
Love is a verb. Love is a deed. For it to be fully realized, work and effort are needed. To make a relationship stronger, love needs two individuals to put equal effort into it. The road to love is not one-way.
9. Being present is essential to love.
Being fully present with someone we love is crucial when we are showing that person our affection. It is crucial to pay close attention to what he or she has to say. When they share their tale, being genuinely present with them and showing empathy for them can mean the world.
The greatest and best gift we can give to one another is listening and being there. In this day and age of electronic devices, short attention spans, and self-absorbed engrossment, listening is challenging. When someone really, really listens to what we have to say, we feel more significant, respected, and special.
Be conscious of your bodily, emotional, mental, and spiritual presence. Try your hardest to avoid dwelling on the past or looking ahead to the future. The only actual reality, after all, is the present. Our mental reconstructions of memories create the past, and our mental simulations of imagined scenarios create the future. We only really ever have the now.
10. Love can take you by surprise…
…And it often does. Usually, love strikes us when we least expect it. We can’t plan for love; it just happens. We cannot simply determine that on Tuesday at 4:21 PM we will fall in love. At this point in our lives, we can’t just command love to happen.
Otten, we can achieve this by changing our careers, moving into a new home, or altering our enjoyable interests and pastimes. Love cannot be forced. Love cannot be hurried. Love almost likely won’t happen when you want it to, how you want it to, or with the person you want it to.
11. Every partnership has temptations.
When most consumers enter Target, they are tempted to browse the dollar aisle. Similarly, relationships are the same. There are temptations everywhere, often with low prices or in fancy packaging, such in Target’s dollar aisle.
Although you might disagree, temptations foster interpersonal relationships. Without temptations and the willpower to resist them or push them aside, there wouldn’t be much to gauge how solid a relationship is in reality.
An act of commitment to a relationship, whether it be with a friend or a significant other, is demonstrated by making a stance against one’s temptations.
12. Life is not a TV or Bollywood drama.
While Bollywood and television may be realistic, they are not reality. Your connection won’t develop in the same way. There won’t always be a happy ending, and things won’t just fall into place by themselves. You must mentally prepare yourself for heartbreak in some capacity.
13. Ignorance is not bliss.
Ignoring disagreements may allow us to sleep well tonight, but in the long run, doing so will only make things worse and may even endanger our relationship.
14. At times we regret being in a relationship.
Everyone experiences it, therefore there’s no shame in acknowledging it. A relationship cannot be filled with joy all the time; there will be times or days when you feel depressed and miserable. However, by effectively talking with our partner, most issues may be overcome.
15. It’s normal for intimacy to slow down.
No matter how flat or lifeless our sexual life seems, if we’re ready, we can rekindle the passion and lust in it.
16. Each and every relationship is unique.
It doesn’t necessarily follow that we should approach our relationships in the same manner as those around us.
17. Real love cannot exist without friendship.
For example, friendship requires time, effort, and energy. You can’t simply meet someone and decide to be great friends. With love, the same is true.
People get close by becoming friends and learning about each other’s peculiarities, flaws, and habits. Through that process, you have the chance to develop closer friendships, which moves you closer to falling in love with one another. You can learn to love someone by having a deep grasp of that individual.
A casual glance in the direction of that cute guy in the corner booth at the coffee shop does not automatically result in love. In order to get to know them, you need to go over and approach them.