What most people refer to as “thinking” is really just your internal dialogue—the discussions you hold with yourself. And those continuing discussions affect how you interact with the rest of the world. They also have a significant influence on how you view yourself.
It all begins with a simple concept or emotion. Or even using a phrase that someone else says.
We don’t see things as they are, we see them as we are.
Anais Nin
Everyone occasionally gets bad thoughts, which is common. However, overly pessimistic thinking might be problematic. Negative thoughts, if they are allowed to persist, can have an impact on many aspects of our wellness, including our physical health.
The majority of us spend a lot of time in our own heads, dwelling on the past, repeating the present, and generally concentrating on the aspects of life that make us unhappy. Though normal, unwelcome thoughts can make it difficult for you to appreciate situations, keep you from paying attention to what matters, and sap your energy. Additionally, they might give you anxiety and depression.
What Causes Negative Thoughts?
Finding the why is the first step. What causes you to think negatively? You will be one step closer to better regulating the effect that negative thinking is having on your life if you can determine why you have so many negative thoughts all the time.
For the majority of people, these are the top three reasons for unpleasant thoughts:
Anxiety About the Future
People occasionally have a fear of the unknown, which leads them to imagine the worst-case scenarios, such as failure or catastrophe. People who worry about the future are diverted from living in the now, where they have greater control over how they live their life, because it hasn’t happened yet.
Fear of the Present
Many of us are concerned about our reputation, the level of traffic on the way home, and our work performance. We are more prone to have unfavorable thoughts when we are in a harmful situation or relationship.
Regret About the Past
Everyone engages in behavior for which they feel ashamed or humiliated. Negative thinkers frequently concentrate longer on their past failures and mistakes than other people do.
Whatever triggers your negative thoughts, there are techniques you may do to control them. As soon as you realize that your negative ideas are about to cause major issues in your life, you should start dealing with them.
12 Tips To Help You Manage Your Negative Thoughts
The good news is that you can replace destructive thought patterns with constructive ones with perseverance and practice. This has a significant impact on your comfort and enjoyment on a daily basis.
Try some of these 12 strategies to control (and reduce) your negative thoughts:
1. Recognize your negative thoughts.
Negative thoughts are intended to be helpful, despite the fact that they may be distracting and make you feel inadequate. Pessimism, according to some psychologists, can even be beneficial because it makes us more inventive and reflective when things aren’t going our way.
Do not feel alone if you have been having bad thoughts. A significant amount of our thoughts are negative. It’s even possible that negative thinking is ingrained in human psychology. We continually take in our environment and work to improve it, just like our forefathers did. When we start to believe that these negative thoughts are true, this process becomes problematic.
2. Question it all.
The next time something occurs and you find yourself drawing conclusions, stop and consider whether what you are saying is actually true. Can I have certainty? Is it possible that I’m interpreting the circumstance in a way that isn’t accurate? Could I have a different perspective?
How long will this persist is another effective question to ask yourself when you’re feeling angry or anxious about something. Should I consider it seriously?
In the grand scheme of things, you might suddenly realize that what’s making you unhappy right now is something you won’t even remember in five years, or you might even be able to laugh about it then.
Putting things into perspective in this way can help you think more optimistically and with hope.
3. Confront your negative thinking.
Every time you have a skewed thinking, pause to determine whether it is true. Consider your reaction if a friend described herself in that manner. You would likely provide a strong refutation of their opposing viewpoint.
Use the same reasoning to examine your own ideas. Consider whether you are planning for the worse or blaming yourself for something that did not turn out the way you had hoped. Then consider alternative outcomes or reasons why something didn’t turn out as you had intended.
4. Limit your whining.
The human propensity is to start whining about everything when anything concerns them (even when it is already fixed).
You might start now to stop whining and instead start working on solutions because you are aware of the pattern of your negative thoughts and have started to control them.
One step at a time, always. This will make it simple for you to get pesky thoughts out of your head.
5. Alternate your concentration.
Change your focus to something more constructive or uplifting because you can’t really concentrate on a bad thinking and a happy concept or memory at the same time.
Go on a mental spree of gratitude for everything that is excellent in your life, such as your loved ones, favorite pastimes, the beauty of nature, mealtimes, special occasions, or anything else that makes you feel good right away.
6. Be in the company of uplifting individuals.
Your daily interactions with other people greatly affect how you live your life.
Spend time with a friend who has positive vibes, an optimistic attitude on life, and is prepared to listen to you share your ideas and feelings if you wish to control your negative thoughts better.
7. Don’t allow your fears hold you back.
When it comes to anxieties, one common error people make is to become frightened and flee from them rather than getting a closer look.
Of course, it’s normal to have that urge and desire to avoid it, but if worries are nebulous, they might end up being more scarier than necessary.
What can you then do? Simply ask yourself, “What could possibly go wrong in this situation?”
The worst that may happen is typically not all that horrible when you start to ground a fear like that and start to look at it with your feet firmly planted on the ground. Often, you can come up with a plan to recover if the worst were to happen.
By doing this, you develop understanding of the problem and your options, which tends to reduce your dread somewhat.
8. The Balloon Exercise – Throw Away Your Negative Thoughts.
The most unique tactic is this one. In essence, you are doing this to get rid of your bad ideas.
You may free yourself from a lot of negative energy by writing down your negative ideas and then physically letting them go. Some people put their unfavorable views on paper and discard it in the trash.
You can also fill a balloon with air, write your regrets, anxieties, and bad thoughts on it, and then let it float away.
Choose a method based on how it feels to you.
9. Let judgments go.
All of us make unconscious judgments of ourselves and other people. Comparing our lives to an ideal or to other people all the time leads to dissatisfaction. You’ll probably feel more at ease once you can let go of judgment (which is not simple, but it is possible).
Recognizing your own response, watching it, and then letting it go are some techniques for escaping judgemental thoughts. “Positive judging” is another useful strategy. Look for a positive quality as well when you become aware that you are judging someone, yourself, or a circumstance negatively.
10. Develop compassion for yourself.
Self-compassion is the art of treating yourself with the same courtesy, consideration, and compassion that you would extend to a close friend or family member.
Take a step back when you find yourself thinking negatively, especially about yourself, and realize that even if you aren’t perfect and things don’t always go as planned, you are still deserving of love and acceptance and that everything will turn out for the best in the end.
Nothing you ever did or that was done to you could ever touch even in the slightest the radiant essence of who you are.
Eckhart Tolle
11. Optimize the life of another person.
Focusing outward and on someone else is one of the quickest ways to escape your own head and the thoughts swirling around inside it if you find yourself mired in negative or victimizing thoughts.
You can begin to feel better and more optimistic once more by doing something to make his or her life more positive.
Several ways to improve someone’s life include:
- Be kind. Give him a sincere compliment, hold open the door, or while driving, let him into your lane.
- Help out. Give her some sound advise that has helped you, or offer assistance with house hunting or party organizing for the weekend.
- Just be there. Focused listening for a few minutes as he vents. Or discuss his challenging issue with someone to start figuring out a way out.
12. Make sure you get off to a good start tomorrow.
Your day’s tone is frequently set by how you begin it. It is challenging to reverse a gloomy or negative start. However, a good start makes it much simpler to just maintain that feeling and the pleasant frame of mind until it is time to go to bed once more.
Here are a few quick ideas to start your day off right:
+ When you first wake up, you see a little reminder.
One or more quotes may serve as your source of inspiration. Or even the objective or dream that currently piques your interest the most. Put it down on paper and leave it on your nightstand or refrigerator. Or enter it on your smartphone’s lock screen by typing it in.
+ Encourage yourself with some uplifting thoughts or conversations.
Read a new blog post, a chapter in a book that inspires you, or listen to a podcast. Or converse in a lighthearted or encouraging way with your partner, children, or a coworker.
Final Thoughts
The key to happiness – or that even more desired thing, calmness – lies not in always thinking happy thoughts…No mind on earth with any kind of intelligence could spend a lifetime enjoying only happy thoughts. The key is in accepting your thoughts, all of them, even the bad ones. Accept thoughts, but don’t become them.
Matt Haig, Reasons to Stay Alive
You may change unhelpful thought patterns with ones that will truly help you find happiness and a sense of calm acceptance with consistent practice and commitment. Without a doubt, the more optimistic thoughts you have, the better your life will turn out, so start thinking positively now.