I’ll venture to say that you still have frequent thoughts of your ex (with some social media stalking thrown in as well). You’re upset every day that your ex is seeing someone fresh because of their relationship. How are you supposed to avoid reflecting on it and compare them to everyone you meet?
If you recently split up with your ex, it’s likely quite natural for you to still be thinking about them. You could be missing them and the safety of your connection, and your brain is urging you to text or phone them.
- Perhaps you can’t concentrate at work.
- Perhaps it’s ruining your relationships with your family and friends.
- By drinking or using medications, you could be attempting to hide the pain.
Simply put, unless you exorcize your ex from your life in the Exorcist fashion, you are not prepared to get into a relationship with someone else.
Here’s how to stop thinking about your ex if you feel like you think about them far more than you’d like to and it’s not good for you or helpful. or to at least temporarily remove them from your mind in order to progressively make it less frequent!
How To Stop Thinking About Your Ex
1. Give yourself some time to feel sad, or mad, or angry, whatever!
Let yourself experience grief. A relationship’s demise can frequently resemble the loss of a loved one. Mourning this loss is acceptable.
- Neglecting painful feelings is not an option. In fact, if you face your feelings without passing judgment, it will be lot simpler for you to get over your hurt.
- Any attempts at restraint will just make your ideas more powerful. If you don’t let yourself feel your thoughts and feelings, you can even start to dream about your ex.
- If you wish, cry. Instead of holding it bottled up inside of you forever, it feels better to let it all out.
2. Don’t put too much pressure on yourself to get over the breakup quickly.
It may be hard to move on from someone who has touched every aspect of your life, regardless of how long you have known them. Give yourself permission to mourn without placing time constraints on it, have another person’s number handy, and turn your attention to your own well-being.
You’ll only think about someone more if you dwell too much on the reason why it’s taking you so long to quit thinking about them.
3. Stop thinking about all the ‘could haves’ and ‘should haves’.
You haven’t moved on from your ex if you find yourself thinking about them all the time when dating someone new. This doesn’t necessarily imply that you still love them, but it does indicate that you have more healing to do.
You appear to be in denial right now and unable to accept the truth that your ex has moved on happily. First and foremost, you must embrace the fact that the person you previously loved is no longer a part of your life, whether you like it or not. Let go of what was; moving on from your past won’t happen immediately, but you should at least try.
Put an end to your list of should- and could-have-beens. Avoid repeatedly running over the same situations in your brain. Trust what will come to pass; look to the future. You will rapidly notice a change if you concentrate on your plans and objectives. Believe that someday you will be free of all of this suffering.
4. No texting! Take the ‘No contact rule’.
You need to quit messaging your ex on the reg and monitoring your messages. This is a risky activity since it has a quick turn to compulsiveness.
If it takes giving your computer and phone to a buddy for a few days to break the habit, do it. You must fight the temptation.
You must use all of your effort to stop speaking with your ex, even if it will be difficult.
5. Don’t take all the blame.
Don’t blame yourself for the breakup, no matter the reason. Instead of blaming yourself or your ex, blame the situation or the relationship.
Utilizing phrases like “We weren’t right for one another” or “We had very different aims and plans for the future” might be useful. Your feelings about the relationship will alter as a result of shifting your understanding of how it ended.
6. Remove the things that remind you of them.
You must get rid of anything in your life that make you think about someone if you wish to cease doing so. Triggers that bring to mind specific experiences, people, or past events cause us to think. This might be a certain gym, a restaurant, clothing, or other items. Regardless, it’s crucial to deliberately distance yourself from persistent reminders if you want to stop thinking about someone.
Please note that we are not advising you to shun your favorite restaurant just because you previously dined there with your ex. However, it could be best for your mental health if you avoided passing by your ex’s gym at the same hour every day that they go.
7. Avoid social media stalking.
The world appears to revolve around social media. It has both blessings and disadvantages. However, it’s just too simple to end a relationship.
It’s just too alluring to check out what they are up to on their social media page. You just won’t be able to remove them from your mind with that.
Get occupied by taking steps to ensure that you aren’t thinking about your ex at all. Join a softball team, go on a run, or just hang out with some pals. Anything that can help you forget about your most recent split is a good thing.
After a breakup, there comes a point where you have to stop sitting around missing your ex and start making new friends.
Nobody can predict how long it will take to forget about an ex. However, you should start right away since the earlier you do it, the sooner you can go on with your life.
8. Be honest with yourself.
People frequently lie to themselves about the nature of the relationship or the causes of the breakup thereafter. It’s critical to reflect on how content you truly were in the relationship and the circumstances leading up to the split. This can help you stop idealizing a relationship that may not have been all that fantastic to begin with.
In order to let go of some anger, it will also be helpful to reflect on your part in the split.
9. Share your story with someone you trust.
You act in the present as if the relationship or circumstance is still there when you are carrying past scars. You could also start seeing someone who reminds you of your ex (or who shares the same traits that didn’t suit you).
Ask a sympathetic friend whether they would be open to hearing your complete account, from the moment anything went wrong through your sentiments and position right now. By sharing your experience, you not only feel better but also get perspective, hastening the healing process.
You might not be able to recall every issue from your past relationship (or all of your ex’s faults), but your friend most certainly can. The way you feel after talking things over with them can surprise you.
10. Remove the rose-tinted glasses.
Even though you may have had some happy moments, chances are strong that your ex-partner also experienced some unhappy moments. Both the partnership and your ex weren’t flawless. Therefore, if you wish to quit obsessing about him or her, you must stop rehashing the happy moments that are clouding your judgment and recall why it ended.
Also, give this a go. Replace any positive memories or qualities you have of your ex with negative ones whenever they come to mind. Kick that positive memory out of your thoughts and watch the negative take control. Though it may sound unfavorable, you must immediately change your outlook.
You won’t have to do this forever. When you reflect on your former relationship, you won’t feel strongly about it; instead, you’ll only perceive it for what it was. However, if you’re having trouble putting your ex out of your mind, you’re still not there, so we’ll need to attempt some other tactics to keep you sane.
11. Distract yourself so you’re literally too busy to even think about them.
One of the easiest ways to stop thinking about someone is to take that energy and apply it toward creating something new, even if this may seem like the most apparent solution.
A new endeavor may be both a distraction and an opportunity to find hidden skills. Dig deep and let your emotional connection to that person fuel you as you begin whatever project you’re working on, whether it’s writing a book, creating a new app, or finally launching the new company idea you’ve been thinking about. You never know; it could help you achieve your goals.
12. Hop in the sac with another.
Given how recent the trauma is, many people find this to be a difficult decision. However, experts concur that connecting with someone else is one way to advance more quickly.
This does not imply that you should rush into another committed relationship; doing so would be foolish. Making sure the person you are sleeping with is aware of your condition can help you win the race slowly but surely.
There’s no reason to start causing additional pain via misunderstandings.
Embrace possibility and position yourself to select the best of the best. a huge step in forgetting about your ex and moving on.
13. Be social.
Being surrounded by friends and family can help you focus on all the good things in your life rather than on your ex. It’s crucial to dedicate yourself to the interests and pursuits you value the most, particularly if your ex prevented you from doing so.
It’s crucial to get out and establish new acquaintances if your ex dominated your social life. To meet new people, try joining groups or becoming involved in volunteer work.
It’s true that being occupied will speed up your progress. In order to avoid thinking about your ex excessively when you are alone at home, find something to do, such as going out to dinner with friends, exploring a museum on your own, or taking a stroll.
14. Hit the gym hard.
This is the ideal way for you to let out some frustration and feel confident about yourself. The best time to start working on having your physique smokin’ hot for the next prospective applicant is right now.
Keep your sorry butt off the couch and get moving. Your perspective will gradually but certainly shift, and you’ll soon see that you’re entitled to much more.
Get sexy because it will only assist you in getting rid of thoughts of your ex.
15. Don’t go for the bottle.
This strategy is used frequently when relationships end. They make an effort to drink away their sorrows. Now, it’s entirely up to you if you want to go out one night and binge drink. However, if it becomes into a nightly or daily practice, you’ll face a whole other set of problems.
16. Indulge in all the self care.
Here’s a fantastic remedy for the mind’s shattered heart: To unwind and revitalize, soak in a bathtub filled with water and epsom salts. This ought to assist in getting rid of all the undesirable ideas, emotions, and energy that you are having trouble letting go of.
After that, you’ll notice that you feel lighter (and hopefully less stressed about your ex). You may also experiment with all the other enjoyable self-care techniques, such as a massage, new skincare regimen, or bubble bath.
17. They gave you the scissors, cut them off!
The adage “out of sight, out of mind” is undoubtedly accurate and effective if you let it. There’s a reason why the past is named that. It’s time to permanently shut your ex out of your life because they made the decision to stop seeing you. Break all relationships, stop following them on social media, stop chatting with their friends, be more self-aware, live in the now.
The Bottom Line
Moving on and ceasing to think about your ex is not an easy task.
It’s not rare to struggle with obsessive thoughts about your ex. You must realize that you will eventually move on with your life and meet a wonderful spouse.
When you are trapped in a particularly detrimental cycle that quickly becomes routine, you can’t help but think about your ex. Before it happens, stop it.
You need to understand that you aren’t powerless, alone, or definitely stuck.
Simply taking action will end the habit if you are ready to quit thinking about your ex. This requires a significant amount of work up front, and you must be completely dedicated to your cause. Your life will quickly get back on track after you figure out how to quit obsessing.
Continue experimenting until you discover what works for you. Continue working on it until you feel free and clear and can confidently go on to greater and better things in your life.