Most spouses have infidelity fears at some point or another. While betrayal is as ancient as commitment itself, social media and current technologies do make matters more difficult by allowing for “micro transgressions” that blur the distinction between emotional and actual betrayal.
However, adulterous spouses frequently make predictable decisions. Spouses do commit adultery. The majority of extramarital relationships take place between people who already know one other and are in the same social circle when an unfaithful husband or unfaithful wife decides to cross that boundary.
Their has been surprisingly little study done on who individuals are really having sex with when they cheat, despite there being a lot of research on how many people have cheated, their motivations, and what “counts” as cheating. Is it often with a friend or a complete stranger? Does this apply differently to males and women?
Who Do People Cheat With?
A recent research in the Journal of Family Psychology provides some clarification. 13,030 American replies that were gathered between the years 2000 and 2016 were examined in this study. Every year of the study, respondents who reported having had extramarital sex but were married were questioned about the other person they had sex with.
The available responses included:
- close personal friend;
- neighbor, coworker, or long-term acquaintance;
- casual date or pick-up;
- person you paid or paid you for sex;
- other.
The majority of participants (53.5%) reported having extramarital sex with close friends, followed by neighbors, friends, and long-term acquaintances (29.4%). People were far less likely to report cheating on a casual date or hookup (21%) or to partake in transactional sex of any kind (7.9%), which includes buying or selling sex. Approximately 8% chose the “other” option. Because participants may pick more than one option and weren’t required to collude with just one individual, the sum of these figures is more than 100%.
Men and Women Infidelity
The percentage of men and women who admitted to cheating with someone they knew well did not differ, but their likelihood of having sex with a stranger did. In particular, just 15.5% of female cheaters engaged in casual hookup sex, compared to 24.3% of male cheaters. Similarly, just 1.3% of female cheaters engaged in transactional sex, as opposed to 7.2% of cheating men.
In other words, males were more likely than women to have extramarital affairs with a casual or paid partner, a result that seems to be consistent with men’s higher propensity for casual sex in general.
It’s critical to note that these results are restricted to the setting of extramarital sex and, more critically, that the poll failed to differentiate between infidelity and open marriages, resulting in the grouping of both of these issues. Therefore, considerable care is advised when extrapolating these results.
Why Is It So?
The percentage of men and women who admitted to cheating with someone they knew well did not differ, but their likelihood of having sex with a stranger did. In particular, just 15.5% of female cheaters engaged in casual hookup sex, compared to 24.3% of male cheaters. Similarly, just 1.3% of female cheaters engaged in transactional sex, as opposed to 7.2% of cheating men.
In other words, males were more likely than women to have extramarital affairs with a casual or paid partner, a result that seems to be consistent with men’s higher propensity for casual sex in general.
It’s critical to note that these results are restricted to the setting of extramarital sex and, more critically, that the poll failed to differentiate between infidelity and open marriages, resulting in the grouping of both of these issues. Therefore, considerable care is advised when extrapolating these results.
People Your Spouse Is Most Likely to Cheat With
Most men and women who cheat begin and carry out their affairs in common settings, such as the workplace, the gym, the neighbor’s house, or online, either through an opportunistic encounter or by reigniting a past romance. What features do each of these circumstances share?
They all arouse temptation and present chances. While there may not be many obvious indications that a wife is having an affair or a husband is having one, once infidelity is exposed, certain patterns and tendencies become apparent. What are they, and what can you do, if most cheating spouses prefer to have affairs in the same five situations?
1. Reaching Out to an Ex
It’s not simply that reconnecting with old acquaintances is now simpler thanks to social media. Reaching out to ex-significant others has become much simpler for husbands and wives thanks to social media platforms like Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and others.
As much as some individuals would wish to think that they have a right to remain friends with a former partner, the majority of the time it is due to improper boundaries with an ex. People may feel pressured by this to cheat in order to end a failing relationship.
When a person’s current relationship isn’t working out, keeping in touch with their former makes adultery with them more likely. According to one study, the need to maintain friendships may even be a sign of a psychopath or narcissist even when there isn’t any adultery present. In the end, everyone could benefit from restraining the impulse to catch up over a drink.
2. Hooking Up With Someone at the Gym
Exercise is a terrific way to keep your body and mind in good shape, but it can also be a great way to locate a hot body to make poor judgments with. Not only is going to the gym one of the most common justifications for meeting up with a fling, but over three-quarters of Ashley Madison users also acknowledged that they exercised to please someone other their spouses.
In addition, seeing others exercise has the tendency to turn individuals aroused, which might increase the likelihood of finding a sexual partner.
Although the desire to cheat might not be the ideal justification for quitting the gym and putting on weight, it is a terrific motivator to focus on your workout and just your routine.
Even better, studies indicate that couples who exercise together stay together. So it could be time to accept their request to join them at yoga if you’re genuinely concerned about your spouse or just want to reduce distractions.
3. Cheating With a Neighbor
Numerous incentives to have an illicit relationship are there right next door or across the street. Due in large part to the fact that infidelity is typically driven by chance, studies reveal that married people regularly talk with their neighbors.
Unexpectedly, women are more likely than men to cheat on their partners with their neighbors since males are more reluctant to get caught doing it so close to home. The majority of males, on the other hand, stated that they would not be leery of their neighbors having sex with their partners. Because they can, some women may do it, which may assist to understand why.
4. Crossing the Line With a Work Colleague
The Journal of Marital and Family Therapy estimates that 36% of men and women have cheated on their spouses with coworkers. However, they are only the ones who are willing to confess it. There is additional evidence to suggest that people are more prone to cheat if they are better at their employment.
Many people spend as much time with coworkers as they do with their spouses, and boundaries can easily blur when they form emotional relationships via common challenges. It might begin with jokes about having a “work spouse” or “work wife,” which may appear benign at first.
Because of this, they become too sympathetic to one another’s difficulties and end up taking on the loving and supportive roles that belong only to their spouse. Temptation may grow if a person’s marriage is under stress, their relationships are fulfilling, or their employment require them to travel frequently with coworkers. People who are on business travels find it simpler and more appealing to violate such lines without arousing the partner’s suspicions, who assumes that they are at work.
5. Meeting a Stranger Online
While it is more common for spouses to cheat on their partners with someone they know, social networking sites, dating apps, and other websites have made it much simpler to cheat on a spouse with a complete stranger. Additionally, they allow for the pursuit of relationships even while the majority of us are cooped up at home during coronavirus quarantines.
Anyone with a strong internet connection may start some extramarital problems using any number of websites, including Reddit, Craigslist, Tinder, and Ashley Madison. The Internet may also make infidelity more than just appealing for those with more impulsive dispositions; it can even become addicting. There are countless options for stranger sex on the internet.