Is it alright to get back together with someone who damaged you before? NO, is the response. Someone who has harmed you will keep doing so.
Being the victim of injury is problematic since logic rarely guides your choices.
You are fully aware of what is occurring, what the effects will be, and why it is detrimental to you.
Usually, logic does prevail in the end, but this is not always the case.
Because you succumb too readily to your urge to encircle his or her neck once more, your emotions take precedence over the glaring reality that is staring you in the face.
What actually happens to you
When you leave (or get dumped), the temptation to return is intense, making ending a relationship much more challenging.
You stumble and fall flat on your face, neither for the first nor the last time.
Recognize that you enjoy watching this person’s name flash on your phone. Anything would be worth it to see him or her truly grinning. And last, you long for the gaze he or she gives you when you two are alone yourself.
However, you can’t exactly see the reflection you seek when gazing into his or her eyes.
You want to trust that person when they tell you that you are attractive. The words touch a deep place within of you that aches with both pleasure and agony.
Even if you know this individual isn’t right for you, you can’t help yourself. Even though you are aware of how unsuitable they are for you, you are pulled to the one and find yourself wanting him or her.
Magic is just permeating the area around them. On a good day, being among them makes you feel as though the world is more vibrant and helps you forget all your troubles. But on bad days, it’s difficult to forget, and you’ll torment yourself with guilt for returning.
Why we tend to keep wanting to go back to the person who once hurt us
Well, sometimes it appears as though they were a decent person before, filling the hole in your heart that had always been left vacant. You return to feeling empty and alone once they depart. You feel as though no one is still there for you. The person who damaged you the most is also frequently the one who made you care the most about them.
You start to wonder why they left, what went wrong, and other things like that. You make excuses in an effort to get them to talk to you, but to no effect.
You frequently turn to such folks because you are mired in memories of the times when they adored you and refuse to accept that they no longer find your company enjoyable. You keep thinking back on the past while searching for someone to take their place.
Reasons why you shouldn’t do that
REASON 1: PEOPLE DON’T CHANGE
You naively persuade yourself, “Maybe this time will be different.” Despite knowing better, you choose to ignore the situation.
If you’ve had enough traumatic events with such a person, you know in your heart that they never grow or develop. When you return, everything will be just as it was before, despite their apparent repentance. No matter how weak your emotions may be, you must be strong enough to convince yourself not to return to a poisonous person.
REASON 2: YOU’RE NOT IMPORTANT TO THEM
Keep in mind that they will never take care of your wants or desires, and you will always rank last on their priority list. You aren’t in their lives to make them feel better; rather, you’re there to satisfy their demands and feed their ego.
While it is in one’s control to be happy, it is also undesirable to feel alone, depressed, heartbroken, or offended as a result of the behavior of the other person in a relationship. It’s critical that both parties in a relationship are content and pleased for it to succeed. If you ever think you’d be happy alone, it’s time to end the relationship.
REASON 3: CHANGES ARE FOR THE BETTER
Humans tend to oppose change by nature. This makes moving forward very challenging. We frequently mistake familiarity for comfort, which leads us to repeatedly choose unhealthy relationships and creates a vicious cycle.
However, when you find the strength to move on, you bring optimism into your life and create new openings that let in new individuals. As time passes, you’ll meet new individuals who will treat you far better, making you feel loved once more.
REASON 4: YOU WILL BE HAPPY TOO
Don’t let anyone convince you that you are deserving of more. Abusive relationships make us feel as though we are deserving of suffering. Even worse, we start to blame ourselves for the bad situation. Having the conviction that you are not the one who should be held accountable is the first step on the road to atonement.
Even though it may be difficult right now, have faith that things will get better. The inside anguish you’re experiencing will ultimately go away; it may take months or even years.
You’ll develop independently and strive to become the person you want to be. The best thing is that you will once again be the one to create your pleasure.
What if…?
Even if you want them to change, they won’t, and you can’t assist someone who doesn’t want to better themselves. You owe yourself more than going back to the person who has repeatedly injured you.
They won’t care how their acts make you feel if you go back to them; they just assume that you will forgive them for anything they do.
They may say all they want that they’re sorry for what they did and how it made you feel, but they don’t really mean it.
Not when they repeatedly engage in the same behavior.
So, what should you do then?
Given everything, you shouldn’t do it. You shouldn’t consider reconciling with someone who has wronged you in the past.
Don’t allow it happen when you’re feeling vulnerable and just want someone you know to console you because you’re feeling alone. And avoid sending a text message that your future self will despise you for when you’re drinking yourself silly. Don’t let it be because you believe you are incapable of doing better and they are still within your grasp but far enough away that they may still be able to flee.
If you’re feeling lonely, depressed, or brokenhearted, resist the urge to go back to the person who hurt you since they won’t be able to mend your wounds and mend your broken heart.
After all, they were the ones who initially caused the break.
Find someone better. And even if you don’t, you’re better off.
Additionally, keep any contact with that individual to a minimum while you are going through the healing process. Heartbreak is a personal experience, and it may take some time before you find the fortitude to reject someone who attempts to manipulate your thoughts, feelings, and actions in order to benefit themselves.