Men dislike hearing certain things from women. Why? so they become immediately defensive.
Men psychologically dislike feeling insecure.
Their heartbeat quickens, their blood pressure increases, and they are more prone to experience a stress reaction. It’s only a few words to you. It’s a little phrase that he will never, ever forget. These apparently unimportant observations can seriously damage a relationship.
1. I’m too tired.
A simple “I’m too sleepy” makes your boyfriend feel rejected when you decline his sexual approaches. It would be good for him to hear something like, “I would definitely like to have sex with you, but I’m actually, truly fatigued – give me a rain check!” because guys are used to coming up to bat and striking out.
Even though you might feel exhausted, this isn’t usually a suitable excuse for skipping out on sex. Who knows if you provide some kissing and cuddling? You could find that you are actually in the mood.
2. You’re going out with the guys again.
Complaining in any way is of no assistance. It might be preferable to accept that males occasionally prefer to hang out with other men if you want the individual to change. And women do really need to do the same for their group of female friends. Inform him that you’re OK, but not this time since it’s happening too frequently. More so since you require his assistance for a task at work, the kids’ yearly day, or examinations.
3. My ex used to do that.
There are two reasons for this: First of all, nobody like hearing about someone else’s former significant others. No matter how amusing or thrilling the story, it may either cause a man’s ego to become unbearably inflated or it may cause him to feel inadequate. Second, it gives men the impression that they are in some way up against a specter of your past.
4. We never do anything fun anymore.
Why is it a problem? Because it places the entire burden of duty on him, and research indicates that using terms like “always” and “never” can be explicitly threatening. They are more prone to produce an adverse response. Therefore, ladies, own your feelings. You may say, “I miss you. Can you arrange a date night for us? You’ll sound less intimidating and he’ll be far more receptive to the idea if you do it that way.
5. Does this make me look fat?
A sentence like that has a problem since it emphasizes the negative. What are you anticipating him to say? Yes, you appear obese! Even when they are in love, guys rarely pay attention to a new outfit or hairstyle. All they can say is that they think you look amazing.
But what if he appears unaware and you’re wondering if your partner is still attracted to you or if you just need some affirmation? Adopt a constructive mindset. Say something hilarious like, “Check out this rockin’ bod – five days of Pilates in a row!” or inquire, “Hey, how do you like my haircut.” That’ll make him open up.
6. I don’t want to be your mother.
Bringing up moms in conversation almost always results in unpleasant situations. Does he leave filthy plates on the table, damp towels on the bed, or worn socks in the shoe cabinet? Drag him gently through it a few times until he understands.
7. Is everything OK? You seem distant.
Your boyfriend would likely respond, “Everything’s OK,” to a generic query like that since many men struggle to express or share their emotions. He’ll only get defensive.
A better strategy is to consider what could be going on with him on your own and ask him some direct questions, such as: Is he stressed out about his job search? Introduce a more detailed discussion about what you believe the problem to be instead of an open-ended query, such as, “Hello, how did the resumes go today? There must be some positive news on the horizon.”
8. Never mind, I’ll do it myself.
This merely indicates that he is unable to complete the task. A guy may become resistant to change if this damages his ego. Maybe it might work if you asked, “Honey, could you help us with this. Although I am aware of your hectic schedule, I might need your professional assistance in this situation.
9. If you really loved me, you’d…
It seems like you’re giving them an ultimatum, which makes guys angry. Instead, you should make a positive request if you desire something from your spouse. Say something like, “I feel like I need more of your attention,” or “I’d want to go on vacation,” for instance. Can we come up with a plan? Always start these kinds of dialogues by expressing how you feel, then coming up with a solution as a team.
10. Leave me alone.
Men quickly feel unwelcome in the relationship when they hear this. Instead, try explaining to him that you need some time to resolve a problem. Usually, he’ll become receptive and make every effort to comprehend and uplift you.
11. We can’t afford that!
Even if buying a giant flat-screen TV might be out of your price range, being upset won’t solve the problem. Instead, take a deep breath, count to 10, and then voice your viewpoint. Say, “I’m pleased you’re so enthusiastic about the TV, but I’m scared we won’t have enough money to pay the mortgage this month,” for instance.
Your spouse will be more inclined to put their wallet away if you offer them the information. Then you might maybe respond, “But let’s find a way to cut back in other areas so that we can work toward that objective.” Your spouse won’t feel hopeless or isolated if you do it that way.
12. My mom’s coming to see us this weekend.
That immediately makes me think, “Oh bad, this weekend is going to be awful!” Try wording it as, “My mom’s coming to town, and we’re going to have a nice ladies’ day, but we’d really want you to meet us for dinner or have a drink with us!” rather than, “I want you to hang out with me and my mom all weekend!”