You could be a sapiosexual if you’ve always been more intrigued by someone’s bookcase than their Instagram photo from the gym. The same is true if you only ever accept to dates at art museums, have a strong love on people who write for literary journals, or go weak in the knees anytime someone has a fancy skill, like playing the piano.
Okay, so perhaps I exaggerated a little bit there. But it does highlight the fact that sapiosexuals value a partner’s intellect over their physical characteristics, financial situation, and even personality. Intelligence can encompass hobbies and general knowledge. In fact, they not only prioritize it but also find it attractive.
According to relationship specialist and clinical psychologist Dr. Tari Mack, “some regard it as a ‘conversational’ orientation, [while] others see it as a genuine [sexual] orientation.” It occurs on a continuum, just like any other sexual preference or orientation. Some sapiosexuals are only attracted to intelligent individuals, while others consider intellect to be one of the most appealing traits in a possible spouse.
Try out some of these flirting and dating strategies that are positively necessary for sapiosexuals if this characterizes you and you’re seeking for a mate that shares your beliefs. You might be surprised by who you meet.
Focus On Your Own Hobbies & Interests
According to Mack, “We attract what we are.” So make sure you are involved in intellectual pursuits and hobbies that light you up if you’re seeking for an intelligent mate. Play an instrument, watch a movie, read a book, and listen to music. Don’t hold off on doing these things until you have a spouse, Mack advises. “When we pursue our own hobbies, we grow as people, are content with our lives, and radiate a vibe that will draw like-minded companions.”
Skip The Small Talk
Try to skip the small talk as soon as you can, whether you’re conversing with someone over coffee or messaging them on a dating app. Do not discuss the weather or your “case of the Mondays”; instead, go directly to the point of the conversation. The greatest approach to “evaluate their intellectual interests and whether it’s a match for you,” according to Mack, will be through this.
Need inspiration? Inquire about their preferred writers, filmmakers, and subject areas. According to Mack, this will all help the conversation go even deeper. “Make sure while you are engaging on an intellectual level that you are also expressing some personal things about yourself and asking some personal questions,” he advises.