When our expectations are not realized, the majority of us become dissatisfied. We expected someone to be or do something, but when they didn’t, we were understandably dissatisfied.
But if you want to succeed, it’s crucial to not ask anyone to do anything that you aren’t prepared to do for yourself.
“My expectations were reduced to zero when I was 21. Everything since then has been a bonus.”
Stephen Hawking
STOP EXPECTING THESE 12 THINGS FROM OTHERS
1. Don’t Expect Everyone Else to Understand You
Nobody else has experienced your childhood, worn your shoes, or lived your life. Your life experiences and how you currently perceive the world are very different from everyone else’s.
Therefore, don’t count on others to “understand” who you are at your core. Some people will be able to connect, while others won’t know what you’re talking about.
If you were clear, you fulfilled your responsibility. There are those who will value and relate to what you have shared. It’s acceptable if some people are not where you are. Recognize what you were able to do and continue.
2. Stop Expecting Fulfillment of Your Template
It’s a never-ending search to find someone else to make your life complete. Give up hoping to meet the one person who can fulfill all of your requirements.
The meaning of “fulfillment” according to one authoritative dictionary is “satisfaction or contentment as a result of completely developing one’s talents or character.”
I’m done now. You are prepared to interact with people in a positive and mutually beneficial manner after you are content with your own life. Before people can get along with you, you must first make peace with yourself.
3. Don’t Expect People to Help You Every Time
You may depend on excellent friends and family to assist you when you need them, but don’t expect them to always take the burden off your shoulders. Try to see things from their perspective because perhaps they are now battling internal issues that prevent them from bearing the weight of both your troubles and theirs.
They wish to assist, but are now unable to. They may not really care, but you occasionally have to summon your inner warrior and engage in your own conflicts.
4. Don’t Expect Others to Apologize
Have you ever been upset with someone inwardly just to find out they were unaware they insulted or wounded you? Even if someone does want to injure you, they might not always want to apologize.
We may waste so much time and energy waiting for excuses we might never receive. Release it. The ability to move on is granted when one does not wait for an apology.
“We should learn to accept apologies we have never received.”
Jay Shetty
5. Stop Expecting Ready Solutions from Others
Everybody struggles. Others can assist us in sifting through potential answers, but if the issue is one that affects our lives, we contributed to its creation. It’s up to us to put an end to what we started.
Consider this: Have you been satisfied with anyone’s recommended resolution to your issues? Typically, we discover that other people’s suggestions fall short. Only those who have a victim mindset anticipate help from others. Victors consider their alternatives, act, and make adjustments as necessary.
6. Stop Expecting Changing People
It’s crucial to understand that, if someone in your life possesses a certain feature that you secretly wish would go away, it usually won’t. Be open and honest about this and let the other know what you need if some sort of big adjustment is required for a friendship or connection to endure.
As was previously mentioned, it is not useful to attempt and mold individuals into your idea of what they ought to be. Therefore, you should typically refrain from attempting to alter other people; if you are unable to accept them as they are, you might be better off without them in your life.
It’s ironic that people really evolve and grow in the best ways when we’re welcoming and loving toward them.
7. Don’t Expect People to Read Your Mind
People can’t just instantly pick up on your thoughts. This calls for direct, honest communication that expresses your true emotions.
For instance, you’ve never explicitly said that you value professional growth, so your supervisor is unaware that you’re expecting for a promotion soon. Or perhaps you’ve never expressed any interest in meeting up with that hot new person in your life, even if you’d want to!
The simple takeaway from this is that you must express your thoughts to others if you want anything to change. Be courteous and considerate in your presentation, but always strive for openness.
8. Stop Expecting Others to Treat You How You Treat Them
Although it would be ideal if everyone followed the golden rule, the world is not ideal. We will just have to accept that others will continue treat us horribly since they don’t have a real relationship with themselves until everyone gets more mindful.
You won’t be as hurt if others don’t treat you as nicely as you treat them if you approach it from a sympathetic perspective.
9. Stop Expecting Validation from Others
Have you ever worn anything even though it made you feel self-conscious just because someone told you it looked good? An affirmation might occasionally give us the push we need to be self-assured. However, we frequently find ourselves uncomfortable as a result of prioritizing outward approval above our own comfort.
Consider this. What outfits from your high school years would you never wear today? Do you shake your head when you consider how much money you spent on it since at the time, it was the hip thing to purchase?
When we strive to fit in or get approval from others, we fail miserably. They sometimes don’t even acknowledge us in the end.
“When you are looking to be validated by others, you are living according to their values, not yours.”
Jay Shetty
10. Don’t Expect People to Agree Every Time You Speak
Never lose your cool when someone disagrees with you—even the closest of friends don’t always share the same opinions. Our diverse viewpoints and ideas enable the earth to continue changing and progressing toward better solutions; if there were no disagreements, the world would be pretty uninteresting.
Consider what would happen if everyone supported continuing to utilize fossil fuels to power our homes, automobiles, and pretty much everything else in our life.
If no one dared to go against the grain, we wouldn’t have solar panels or electric vehicles!
11. Don’t Expect Others to Believe in You
Genuinely confident individuals have faith in themselves rather than what others think or say about them. It is confidence, not arrogance.
Spend no time awaiting the acceptance of others. We hold out hope that someone will notice, value, and elevate us. In the end, it doesn’t happen, which destroys our self-esteem even more.
Don’t make someone else accountable for your sense of worth. Even if you have to start off small, start believing in yourself right away. Make a commitment and keep it. Embrace your instincts. Speak favorably about oneself.
“People will believe in you when you believe in yourself.”
Jay Shetty
Leaving behind other people’s expectations might lead to a sense of independence. By relieving the pressure, we may live fully.
12. Stop Expecting Praise and Appreciation from Others
You could or might not get compliments. You cannot rely on it coming from others. You set yourself up for disappointment if you perform deeds with the expectation that others will appreciate them.
Don’t act in a way that will elicit praise from others; instead, act in a way that you want to, that makes you feel better, or that is consistent with your moral principles. Honor yourself. Give yourself a pat on the back whenever you go in the right direction, get out of a bad mood, or do something nice for someone else.
It is irrelevant what other people think. What you think about yourself is what counts. Make the decision to talk to yourself in a supportive manner. A result of this is self-validation.
