CREATIVE STATUS
I am a happy ray of fucking sunshine.
The weirder you are, the more fun you are.
You do the most adorable things without realizing it.
You don’t have friends, you don’t have haters, man you must be very boring.
Do more things that make you forget to check your phone.
Oooooooooooowweee! Some idiot will still copy my status, I can’t even understand what I just wrote.
Being an adult is like folding a fitted sheet. No one really knows how.
I never make the same mistake twice. I make it like five or six times, you know, just to be sure.
No matter what you are people will still bless you, even if you are a kidnapper or a crooked politician.
I literally have to remind myself all the time that being afraid of things going wrong isn’t the way to make things go right.
Winners focus on winning, losers focus on winners.
I haven’t changed. I grew up. Maybe you should give it a try sometime.
Don’t change so people will like you. Be yourself and the right people will love the real you.
Whoever tucked the ‘S’ in Fast Food was a clever person.
Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
We live in a society where pizza gets to your house before the police.
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it’s still on the list.
Life is trying things to see if they work.
There are no traffic jams along the extra mile.
Listen and silent are spelled with the same letters.
A wise person knows their limits. But a clever person knows they have none.
My life motto is Do my best so that I can’t blame myself for anything.
It’s ok if you disagree with me. I can’t force you to be right.
I own me, and therefore, I can engineer me. I am me, and I am okay.
Me and my bed are perfect for each other, but my alarm clock keeps trying to break us up.
I am somebody. I am me. I like being me. And I need nobody to make me somebody.
If I won the award for laziness, I would send somebody to pick it up for me.
Is Google a boy or a girl? Obviously, a girl because it won’t let you finish your sentence without suggesting other ideas.
WITTY STATUS
You think I am lazy, I am just saving energy.
I will walk 30miles backward if you can pronounce the letter m without your lips touching.
Every day may not be good but there’s good in every day.
I bought a soap, named “Riches’’ so I washed my pockets instead.
It’s not everyone that has the eye to see the real beauty.
I was going to take over the world this morning but I overslept. Postponed. Again.
The happiest people don’t have the best of everything, they make the best of everything.
Some of the fruits I know now, I never knew existed, thanks to shampoo, I know my fruits now.
I’m just a vibe you can’t find anywhere else.
Be nice to nerds. You may end up working for them. We all could.
The world is full of nice people. If you can’t find one, BE ONE.
I’m the girl you’ve always wanted.
Take me to the top, I am ready for Whatever It Takes.
Why I Drink Alcohol: Because no great story ever started with someone eating salad.
Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.
I’m gonna stand outside. So if anybody asks, just say I’m outstanding!
I have a defective iPhone 5, I keep pressing the home button and I’m still at work.
Smart phones, smart cars, smart televisions time to make smart people!
Any Path has no end, without walking how could you decide this?
The beauty of personality never fades away with time so I adapt to mine.
The reason I talk to myself is that I’m the only one whose answers I accept.
Never lie to me. Every little lie you lie brings us closer to goodbye. You know!
If you have to fall in love with someone, fall for their personality, then the rest of everything will become beautiful.
Learn from the mistakes of others. You can’t live long enough to make them all yourselves!
You don’t need to be hot because a hitter will cost you less than that!
You can’t use up creativity. The more you use, the more you have.
Don’t judge me by my past. I’m not in the past anymore. Accept me for who I am because this is me today.
