Funny Life Quotes From Famous Authors
I’m in shape. Round is a shape. – George Carlin.
Accept who you are. Unless you’re a serial killer. – Ellen DeGeneres.
Stop worrying about the world ending today. It’s already tomorrow in Australia. – Charles M. Schulz.
Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They’re about to announce the lottery numbers. – The Simpsons.
If A is success in life, then A is equal to X plus Y plus Z. Work is X; Y is play; and Z – keeping your mouth shut. – Albert Einstein.
There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman? – Woody Allen.
To thrive in life you need three bones. A wish bone, a back bone, and a funny bone. – Reba McEntire.
In three words I can sum up everything I’ve learned about life: it goes on. – Robert Frost.
All God does is watch us and kill us when we get boring. We must never, ever be boring. – Chuck Palahniuk.
If you don’t know where you’re going, any road’ll take you there. – George Harrison.
Embrace the glorious mess that you are. – Elizabeth Gilbert.
Tell a man there are 300 billion stars in the universe and he’ll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint on it and he’ll have to touch it to be sure. – Murphy’s Law.
Better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt. – Abraham Lincoln.
Mistakes Funny Quotes About Life Lessons

A mistake should be your teacher, not your attacker.
A mistake is a lesson, not a loss.
It is a temporary, necessary detour, not a dead end.
A jealous woman does better research than the FBI.
I’ve learned so much from my mistakes…
I’m thinking about making a few more.
The greatest mistake a man can ever make is to be afraid of making one.
Never say, ‘Oops!’ Always say, ‘Ah, interesting.’
A smart man makes a mistake, learns from it, and never makes that mistake again.
But a wise man finds a smart man and learns from him how to avoid the mistake altogether.
Your best teacher is your last mistake.