Most spouses have infidelity fears at some point or another. While betrayal is as ancient as commitment itself, social media and current technologies do make matters more difficult by allowing for “micro transgressions” that blur the distinction between emotional and actual betrayal.
However, adulterous spouses frequently make predictable decisions. Spouses do commit adultery. The majority of extramarital relationships take place between people who already know one other and are in the same social circle when an unfaithful husband or unfaithful wife decides to cross that boundary.
Their has been surprisingly little study done on who individuals are really having sex with when they cheat, despite there being a lot of research on how many people have cheated, their motivations, and what “counts” as cheating. Is it often with a friend or a complete stranger? Does this apply differently to males and women?
Who Do People Cheat With?
A recent research in the Journal of Family Psychology provides some clarification. 13,030 American replies that were gathered between the years 2000 and 2016 were examined in this study. Every year of the study, respondents who reported having had extramarital sex but were married were questioned about the other person they had sex with.
The available responses included:
- close personal friend;
- neighbor, coworker, or long-term acquaintance;
- casual date or pick-up;
- person you paid or paid you for sex;
- other.
The majority of participants (53.5%) reported having extramarital sex with close friends, followed by neighbors, friends, and long-term acquaintances (29.4%). People were far less likely to report cheating on a casual date or hookup (21%) or to partake in transactional sex of any kind (7.9%), which includes buying or selling sex. Approximately 8% chose the “other” option. Because participants may pick more than one option and weren’t required to collude with just one individual, the sum of these figures is more than 100%.
Men and Women Infidelity
The percentage of men and women who admitted to cheating with someone they knew well did not differ, but their likelihood of having sex with a stranger did. In particular, just 15.5% of female cheaters engaged in casual hookup sex, compared to 24.3% of male cheaters. Similarly, just 1.3% of female cheaters engaged in transactional sex, as opposed to 7.2% of cheating men.
In other words, males were more likely than women to have extramarital affairs with a casual or paid partner, a result that seems to be consistent with men’s higher propensity for casual sex in general.
It’s critical to note that these results are restricted to the setting of extramarital sex and, more critically, that the poll failed to differentiate between infidelity and open marriages, resulting in the grouping of both of these issues. Therefore, considerable care is advised when extrapolating these results.
Why Is It So?
The percentage of men and women who admitted to cheating with someone they knew well did not differ, but their likelihood of having sex with a stranger did. In particular, just 15.5% of female cheaters engaged in casual hookup sex, compared to 24.3% of male cheaters. Similarly, just 1.3% of female cheaters engaged in transactional sex, as opposed to 7.2% of cheating men.
In other words, males were more likely than women to have extramarital affairs with a casual or paid partner, a result that seems to be consistent with men’s higher propensity for casual sex in general.
It’s critical to note that these results are restricted to the setting of extramarital sex and, more critically, that the poll failed to differentiate between infidelity and open marriages, resulting in the grouping of both of these issues. Therefore, considerable care is advised when extrapolating these results.
