8) Loss of respect
A lack of respect for both myself and other people came along with the loss of trust.
I had a negative impression of women in general because I had a victim mentality and was harboring anger.
When I realized that I never kept my promise and that I was betraying even the ladies I did respect, I started to lose respect for myself.
My self-confidence suffered as a result of this lack of respect, which also affected other aspects of my life.
How could I expect anyone, including coworkers or anybody else, to appreciate me if those closest to me couldn’t?
This lack of respect hurt me hard, and for many years it just served to feed the cycle, leading me to treat women with even more disdain and exploitation because I thought it would make me feel like a big guy.
Not at all.
9) Guilt and regrets
Like I said, I was typically unaffected by womanizing.
Since I was already bitter, I didn’t care much whether I offended or disappointed anyone.
I do, however, sometimes feel bad and regret my actions.
My actions and communication style were childish, hurtful, and foolish.
What’s worse is that I met several ladies that I really wanted to get to know better, but I didn’t really give them an opportunity since I thought of them as simply worthless sl*ts.
Even though I’m content in my current relationship, I wish I had a different perspective because I believe I could have really connected with and gotten to know some fantastic individuals.
Instead of stewing in my own ego and trying to fit everything into the pessimistic narrative I’d created in my brain, I might have matured.
The primary thing I regret is that after whining about how the world treated me unfairly, I immediately started treating “the world” unfairly (i.e. women).
Why was it a solution?
Why would you just add to a problem if you wanted to solve it?
I still have trouble answering that question today, but I strive to become better every day by being more aware of my choices and deeds.
10) Accumulating a bad reputation
I had a horrible reputation in certain areas for being a womanizer.
Many of the ladies I went out with had erratic relationships with their partners, which didn’t work out well.
At one point, it nearly resulted in a violent altercation in a Wal-Mart parking lot, but that wasn’t even the worst of it.
I experienced internet stalking, someone created a social media page just to promote my a**holery, and more.
I could pretend I wasn’t affected, but that would be a lie.
Because I secretly knew that these women, furious men, and others had a point.
People weren’t impressed because I was tearing through the world as if it belonged to me, regardless of who I ran over in the process.
It doesn’t lessen how unsettling it is that womanizing still often receives a pass in society, and believe me, it will damage your reputation.
11) Inability to commit (even when you want to!)
Being a womanizer often makes you unable of committing.
You’ve been sampling foods at the grocery store for so long that you no longer want to make any purchases.
As I said, there were certain ladies who I didn’t take seriously but who I regret because I think they may have been talented.
There was also merely the completely incorrect method of dating.
Without considering my level of interest, I would go into applications and swipe yes on everyone.
I’d convince myself, “They’re all the same anyhow.”
My pessimism would then be validated. Alternatively, I would see a female who wasn’t “all the same” and become annoyed that she was stereotyping me as a f*ckboy who shouldn’t be taken seriously.
I would object, “But that’s not how I am, I promise.”
The issue is:
What you do defines you.
Others may not always be able to see the “true you,” even if you may know it deep inside. They are evaluating you based on your actions.
They saw that I was treating women like throwaway objects. Because they could see that I was behaving compulsively and was afraid of being alone myself, they didn’t take me seriously.
They were accurate.
I was just looking for temporary enjoyment since I was afraid to commit and end up abandoned. It was a destructive loop that required fresh thinking to end.
Compulsiveness is another one of a womanizer’s key flaws.
Womanizers are excessively influenced and under the grip of their sex urge and fleeting wants.
Because of this, both women and other people may easily influence and dominate them.
For instance, if the contract agent was a stunning lady wearing a low-cut blazer, you might get a womanizer to sign a terrible contract.
It’s not a nice quality for an adult to have to be compulsive and to be guided by what’s beneath your trousers, yet it’s surprisingly prevalent.
It might be difficult, but it is definitely doable, to learn to regulate our sex drive and urges while still keeping a healthy connection with sexuality.
Basically, it comes down to maturing and not always doing what you feel like.
13) Fear of being alone
Fear of being alone is one of a womanizer’s other major flaws.
While spending too much time alone might be frightening, it can also be liberating.
Why didn’t I express my desires in an open and honest manner?
I seemed to desire just sex and a good time, but in reality, it was simply a cover for my fear of being alone myself.
I was meeting females, and I knew they weren’t my style. There wouldn’t be anything deeper, I knew.
However, I was avoiding the ones that seemed to be more promising since I knew they would need a greater time commitment and might result in something more significant.
I didn’t want to take a chance.
I feared that if they realized I wasn’t good enough, they would leave me. Thus, I made no attempt.
I always made it a point to only date people I didn’t like.
Pretty bizarre, huh?
14) Fear of love
The contradiction is, however, as follows:
You find yourself in a true no man’s land when you’re terrified of being alone yourself but also afraid of becoming involved in anything significant.
To be truthful, love may be a little strong and frightening.
However, nothing worthwhile in life is without danger, and if you never take a chance with love, love will never take a chance on you.
I was afraid of being alone and certain that neither a relationship nor love should be forced upon me.
This inconsistency soon became apparent since I couldn’t ask others to take a risk on me if I wasn’t prepared to do the same.
In actuality, I was aware of the reality and value of love.
But I had also seen its consequences firsthand and saw friends and family members lose everything to toxic and codependent relationships.
I yearned for true love so desperately, but I was also so afraid of what it may become.
Before I could really be OK with being alone and spend the time getting to know someone on a deeper level with true promise, this was something I had to settle within.