6. Be the bigger person
Another challenging question, but the answer lies in the fact that there aren’t many elegant individuals in the world.
I understand. Being the “larger person” all the time is tiresome and utterly infuriating.
One method I use to do this is to pretend I am a preschool teacher interacting with children. Even when people goof up or say hurtful things to you, you attempt to act in a responsible manner.
You don’t yell obscenities at them or punch the wall out of annoyance…
You strive to maintain the calmest demeanor possible.
This is how you maintain class while establishing limits and advocating for what you want—with tenderness and love. You treat them as if they don’t know any better.
7. Be very clear of what you want
Being aggressive means you probably understand what you want and don’t want. Thus, this isn’t the challenging part.
Your delivery is what counts. It distinguishes people who are classy from those who aren’t.
Let’s assume that you are always overworked and that this is why you desire an assistant.
You don’t simply mutter, “This job is slowly killing me,” to everyone in the workplace. This won’t help anything, and there’s a risk your employer will find out. this can cause issues (you don’t want that!).
Instead, you tell your supervisor, “Hey, I feel like I’ve been overworking myself for the last several months, and if this continues on much longer, I could burn out. Is it conceivable to have a helper to lighten my load?
Now that’s how to ask for what you want with style!
8. Be very clear of how their actions affect you
This is comparable to the previous. The key takeaway is that assertiveness depends heavily on clarity.
If your partner no longer arranges date evenings and it is obviously having an impact on you, then speak up, but do it in the most loving manner possible.
Specifying your needs is crucial.
“Honey, I love you so much, but I miss the times when you were actively setting up dates for us. Can we repeat it? You plan Sundays, and I’ll plan Saturdays. Do you believe that is feasible?
It’s unquestionably more elegant—and, once again, effective—than just wailing, “I believe you don’t appreciate our connection anymore!”
9. Start by saying the positive things first
This is a pretty common strategy used by attractive people—you know, the sorts that constantly get favors left and right—and it is so popular because it is effective!
Giving sincere compliments and beginning with the positives can assist you in achieving your goals and will also make criticisms less condescending and more appreciated.
You may remark, “I really appreciate your cuisine and your service is fantastic, but I just realized that my coffee isn’t as hot as usual,” if you’re at a restaurant and your coffee isn’t as hot as you’d want it to be.
If you proceed in this manner, your likelihood of receiving a fresh cup of coffee is almost 100%.
“What the hell is this crap?! ” You’ll still get a replacement if you ask, “Do you even know how to brew coffee?!” but you’ll also catch everyone’s attention—in a terrible way.
10. Make them feel like they can be your hero
Once again, this is a rather cunning and deceptive tactic. only when it is excessive.
Giving thanks is acceptable. Giving someone accolades fit for a deity even when all you’re actually asking is for them to do nothing is strange and absolutely NOT classy.
How then do you do it correctly?
simply by explaining to them how their actions will specifically impact you.
Tell your pal, “Oh I could really need it now,” if they consistently “forget” to pay you back the money they owe you. I’m too exhausted to visit an ATM to get cash.
Although they won’t feel like a “hero” as a result of this—quite the opposite—it COULD inspire them to find a method to become into your hero by finding a way to immediately repay you.
Additionally, if you want to request something—like a raise—tell your manager specifically how it would benefit you both personally and professionally.
This way, you have a better chance of getting what you want since you’re making them feel good. Instead of complying with your requests, they are awarding you “favors” and making themselves feel good in the process.
It’s difficult to be forceful in a sophisticated manner. But it’s a quality that we should all work to develop.
You’ll not only be happier, but you’ll also keep things amicable with everyone around you.
Fight for what you want and demand what you deserve in the new year…
And carry it out as elegantly as you can.