It may feel like you’ve covered every topic in a short period of time with your companion. You’ve shared your dreams, your memories, and a few brief comments on what you want to eat for supper. The stillness is deafening and you feel as like you truly have nothing original, noteworthy, or meaningful left to say. What will you do next then?
There is no need to panic, even if this might be a pivotal moment in a long-term relationship since the more you stress over what to say, the harder it will be. Stop attempting to talk about ‘new’ topics, advises clinical psychologist Dr. Josh Klapow to Bustle. The burden of attempting to come up with something fresh might quickly dominate the conversation. Allow conversation to flow organically, talk about the weather, or just relax and take in each other’s presence.
Additionally, discussing the same subject more than once is acceptable. You may definitely bring up prior issues if you’ve been dating for a long, according to Klapow. The subjects may not change, but your viewpoints, your comprehension of them, and your perceptions of them both as a pair and as individuals may.
In a long-term relationship, there will always be ups and downs, including periods of boredom, according to Klapow. However, this is seldom an indication of a more serious issue. Nevertheless, there are ways to fix it. Here are a few methods to start a discussion with your spouse if you want to talk about exciting topics, even if you feel like you’ve covered everything.
Get Into A Healthy Debate
Try starting a constructive argument if you feel like your talks have come to a screeching end. Find a challenging quotation and debate your various readings, advises author and speaker Dr. Marlene Caroselli to Bustle. Alternately, pose a humorous question, such as “do you believe in aliens?,” and have a discussion.
If both of you concur, great. But if you don’t, the situation will swiftly devolve into a mental conflict. Who knows, though? Even so, you could discover something novel about one another.
Ask About Their Day
You can have a talk like this every day. Consider discussing your highs and lows after some time apart if you haven’t previously done so. How did work go? What succeeded? What failed?
This straightforward conversation, according to Christie Tcharkhoutian, LMFT, a certified marital and family therapist, can strengthen your bond, keep you on the same page, and ultimately help you with life’s ups and downs as a pair.
Make Plans For The Future
When did you two last check in with regard to your future? If it has been a while, discuss your goals for the foreseeable future, including vacation plans, professional aspirations, and other activities.
Dreaming and being thrilled are enjoyable, according to Tcharkhoutian. It can also assist in removing you from your daily routine and rut while ensuring that you are jointly pursuing these goals.