I’ll venture to say that you still have frequent thoughts of your ex (with some social media stalking thrown in as well). You’re upset every day that your ex is seeing someone fresh because of their relationship. How are you supposed to avoid reflecting on it and compare them to everyone you meet?
If you recently split up with your ex, it’s likely quite natural for you to still be thinking about them. You could be missing them and the safety of your connection, and your brain is urging you to text or phone them.
- Perhaps you can’t concentrate at work.
- Perhaps it’s ruining your relationships with your family and friends.
- By drinking or using medications, you could be attempting to hide the pain.
Simply put, unless you exorcize your ex from your life in the Exorcist fashion, you are not prepared to get into a relationship with someone else.
Here’s how to stop thinking about your ex if you feel like you think about them far more than you’d like to and it’s not good for you or helpful. or to at least temporarily remove them from your mind in order to progressively make it less frequent!
How To Stop Thinking About Your Ex
1. Give yourself some time to feel sad, or mad, or angry, whatever!
Let yourself experience grief. A relationship’s demise can frequently resemble the loss of a loved one. Mourning this loss is acceptable.
- Neglecting painful feelings is not an option. In fact, if you face your feelings without passing judgment, it will be lot simpler for you to get over your hurt.
- Any attempts at restraint will just make your ideas more powerful. If you don’t let yourself feel your thoughts and feelings, you can even start to dream about your ex.
- If you wish, cry. Instead of holding it bottled up inside of you forever, it feels better to let it all out.
2. Don’t put too much pressure on yourself to get over the breakup quickly.
It may be hard to move on from someone who has touched every aspect of your life, regardless of how long you have known them. Give yourself permission to mourn without placing time constraints on it, have another person’s number handy, and turn your attention to your own well-being.
You’ll only think about someone more if you dwell too much on the reason why it’s taking you so long to quit thinking about them.
3. Stop thinking about all the ‘could haves’ and ‘should haves’.
You haven’t moved on from your ex if you find yourself thinking about them all the time when dating someone new. This doesn’t necessarily imply that you still love them, but it does indicate that you have more healing to do.
You appear to be in denial right now and unable to accept the truth that your ex has moved on happily. First and foremost, you must embrace the fact that the person you previously loved is no longer a part of your life, whether you like it or not. Let go of what was; moving on from your past won’t happen immediately, but you should at least try.
Put an end to your list of should- and could-have-beens. Avoid repeatedly running over the same situations in your brain. Trust what will come to pass; look to the future. You will rapidly notice a change if you concentrate on your plans and objectives. Believe that someday you will be free of all of this suffering.
4. No texting! Take the ‘No contact rule’.
You need to quit messaging your ex on the reg and monitoring your messages. This is a risky activity since it has a quick turn to compulsiveness.
If it takes giving your computer and phone to a buddy for a few days to break the habit, do it. You must fight the temptation.
You must use all of your effort to stop speaking with your ex, even if it will be difficult.
5. Don’t take all the blame.
Don’t blame yourself for the breakup, no matter the reason. Instead of blaming yourself or your ex, blame the situation or the relationship.
Utilizing phrases like “We weren’t right for one another” or “We had very different aims and plans for the future” might be useful. Your feelings about the relationship will alter as a result of shifting your understanding of how it ended.
6. Remove the things that remind you of them.
You must get rid of anything in your life that make you think about someone if you wish to cease doing so. Triggers that bring to mind specific experiences, people, or past events cause us to think. This might be a certain gym, a restaurant, clothing, or other items. Regardless, it’s crucial to deliberately distance yourself from persistent reminders if you want to stop thinking about someone.
Please note that we are not advising you to shun your favorite restaurant just because you previously dined there with your ex. However, it could be best for your mental health if you avoided passing by your ex’s gym at the same hour every day that they go.
7. Avoid social media stalking.
The world appears to revolve around social media. It has both blessings and disadvantages. However, it’s just too simple to end a relationship.
It’s just too alluring to check out what they are up to on their social media page. You just won’t be able to remove them from your mind with that.
Get occupied by taking steps to ensure that you aren’t thinking about your ex at all. Join a softball team, go on a run, or just hang out with some pals. Anything that can help you forget about your most recent split is a good thing.
After a breakup, there comes a point where you have to stop sitting around missing your ex and start making new friends.
Nobody can predict how long it will take to forget about an ex. However, you should start right away since the earlier you do it, the sooner you can go on with your life.
8. Be honest with yourself.
People frequently lie to themselves about the nature of the relationship or the causes of the breakup thereafter. It’s critical to reflect on how content you truly were in the relationship and the circumstances leading up to the split. This can help you stop idealizing a relationship that may not have been all that fantastic to begin with.
In order to let go of some anger, it will also be helpful to reflect on your part in the split.
9. Share your story with someone you trust.
You act in the present as if the relationship or circumstance is still there when you are carrying past scars. You could also start seeing someone who reminds you of your ex (or who shares the same traits that didn’t suit you).
Ask a sympathetic friend whether they would be open to hearing your complete account, from the moment anything went wrong through your sentiments and position right now. By sharing your experience, you not only feel better but also get perspective, hastening the healing process.
You might not be able to recall every issue from your past relationship (or all of your ex’s faults), but your friend most certainly can. The way you feel after talking things over with them can surprise you.