At some point in our lives, the majority of us have loved someone who weren’t the proper fit for us. It’s possible that the time was incorrect, that we both needed to develop personally, or that they were simply lessons that helped us become the individuals we were intended to be.
Those who have fallen in love with the wrong person frequently claim that it was traumatic and drastically altered them.
They discovered how to accept the suffering and deal with the hole left by the loss of the ones they loved.
They held themselves accountable for failing to do enough or not standing up for that individual strongly enough. Some of them even regretted ever having spoken to that individual and wished they could go back in time to correct their errors.
Love is never an accident, regardless of whether the person is good or incorrect for us. We come into contact with others either to better ourselves or to better them. There are valid reasons why being in love with the wrong person is a lucky break, if we strive to comprehend and focus on the positive.
It tells us what we need in a partner – We don’t accept just anyone. True, other aspects like compatibility, wants, and a sexual connection matter and that love alone is insufficient. Before pursuing someone, we start to hunt for qualities in our partners that will guide our decision-making.
It’s strange how individuals may occasionally claim that they could love someone else unconditionally while not loving themselves sufficiently. The benefit of self-love, though, is that we simply don’t put up with our partners’ negative behaviors because we place a higher value on ourselves.
If we are not treated as we deserve to be treated in a relationship, we are not scared to end it. We have faith in what we have to offer, and our value is independent of how our partners treat us.
Even if it didn’t work out, we gained valuable life lessons about how to treat others properly and how to love them in the same manner that we want to be loved. Even if they did not reciprocate our affection in the same way, we still learnt how to care for and love someone deeply.
Don’t be sorry that we loved them so much and they didn’t return the favor; instead, be grateful for the experiences and lessons they provided.
Another door opens when the first one does. If we are not intended for anything better, we won’t learn these lessons. Let’s see these heartbreaks as lessons that we needed to learn in order to continue improving as humans.
It doesn’t necessarily follow that no one will ever appreciate us just because someone didn’t. Continue to learn, keep getting better, and use these heartbreaks as motivation to get better.
We will one day reflect on all the painful events that helped us develop into the persons we are today. However, we will always remember the lessons we took away from these situations rather than the agony.